O/T Showering!!!

[John Mason]

Check this out......

Men and Women ? the difference in showering techniques

How Women shower

Remove clothing and place in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. Make sure gusset is not uppermost. Walk to bathroom in long dressing gown. If you see partner on the way, cover up any exposed areas. Close door and remove gown. Study womanly shape in mirror, pursing lips and turning from side to side. Make mental note do buy Clarin?s cellulite cream.
Get in shower. Use flannel and long loofah, wide loofah and loofah mitten, with exfoliating gel. Wash hair once using cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. Wash hair again to make sure it?s clean. Apply Grapefruit and Mint conditioner with Aloe Vera. Wash face with Crushed Apricot and enriched Avocado Oil facial scrub for 10 minutes, until red. Wash private areas, but don?t dwell. Soothe entire body with Ginger Nut and Orange Blossom herb body wash. Rinse off hair conditioner.
Shave armpits and legs. Study bikini area, consider shaving but decide to get it waxed, when next having nails done. Scream loudly when partner flushes toilet and you loose water pressure. Turn off shower and emerge in cloud of steam looking like boiled lobster. Wipe down wet surfaces with squeegee. Dry body with a towel the size of a small country and wrap hair in super absorbent second towel.
Check entire body for remotest sign of a zit. Examine bosom for stray hairs and tweeze if necessary. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. Should you see your partner, cover any exposed areas to minimise risk and sashay into bedroom to spend next hour and a half getting ready.

How Men Shower

Take of clothes whilst sitting on edge of bed. Kick underpants up in the air and leave face up on bedroom chair. Stroll naked to bathroom. If you see partner on the way, leer and shake dick at her making the ?woo-woo? sound. Study manly physique in mirror and suck in belly whilst throwing out chest to see if you have pecs. (No). Admire size of dick whilst pulling gently. Scratch arse. Fart. Get in shower. Grab soap and rub around liberally. Wash face. Wash armpits. Majority of time is spent soaping privates and surrounding areas with slow, squeezing action. Wash bum. Leave short hairs on soap. Blow nose into hand and rinse off. Wash hair. Make shampoo Mohawk. Crack up at how load a fart sounds in the shower. Peek out of the shower to look at yourself in mirror again and to see if anyone is coming. Wee in shower. Rinse off and get out of shower. Ignore water on floor due to the fact that the curtain was not in the tub. Partially dry off. Study physique in mirror, flex muscles and admire size of dick again. Leave wet bath mat on floor. Return to bedroom with towel round waist. If you see your partner, whip of towel and shake Dick, making ?woo-woo? sound. Throw wet towel on bed. Get dressed in two minutes. Fart.

[buttsie]

LOL

an excerpt from Johns best seller
"Pirate Etiquette"

So where can I purchase all those womens products from?

cheers
B...OZ

[Ace]

Hahaha......great one John. Im off for a shower!!!!!

[Ace]

[jj]

EEEeekkk !!!!
You PERVERT !!!
Stop spying !!!!

[jj]

...and clean up those bloody pubes.