into the porn business?

[Archangel]

hey

can anyone give me information on getting into the porn business?

wait!!

no, not what you rthinking. Not perfoming lol. I'm sure there have been requests for that already done to death I am sure.

No I mean in the directing, writing side of it? What kind of liscenses you need to set up a porn company? equipment needed, agencies that provide porn actresses and actors ect?

also any infomation on getting into the BBFC? no necassarily related to porn though?

thanks

[Mad Burt]

good question but the main answer would be to ask where you intend to pich your final production. are you an am-cam as in a guy with a camcorder intending to film himself doing a bird in which case YAWN its a crowded market. or have you got a few bob and intend say throwing a few grand at a production and want to get top notch gear. either way there will be people who would advise you to spend your money more wisely

[matt_lucy_uk]

well, i knwo that for your 1st shoot you could use us!!

[Joe A]

Mad Burt has made a few good points...

First of all writing for a film.. LOL. Very few producers in the UK do this. I personally think that if more did or could do this it might be a good idea. The major prob would be finding models who can work to a script without fluffing their lines all the time etc.

You don't need any licences.

3 ccd cams have come down in price from a couple of years ago, so it's not too expensive for a newbie to get started. You can be a one man band or hire others to shoot your productions. There are quite a few cameramen who post here, such as Dave Wells who are very good and experienced.

Get the whole plan together before contacting any agencies looking for models

The BBFC comesd in to play once you have a finshed and edited film, so don't worry about them till then.

[mark cremona]

first of all you will need to be educated to at least Degree level with a 2:1 in Anal Cavity searches and a total understanding of the physical mechanics of the 'Pop Shot' if you can provide a dissertation to this regard you may be half way there, a Masters degree from the world renowned BenDover University in Paris will certainly open doors for you as UK porn is world renowned for its Artistic foibles, it has been known to trip up the unwary....

thats the Directing and writing side taken care of, obtaining licences is a whole other ball game, a grenade if you will, waiting to go off in your face...you may be familiar with a piece of football nomenclature that has recently been featured in the News ? Im talking of course of 'Bungs' ..... this is useful terminology that will assist you in the requiste licences needed to aid the setting up of a succesful porn company in the UK...details on how to apply for the necessasary licences can be obtained from The Right Honorable David Sullivan of Chigwell C/O the Daily Sport newspaper Essex, all 'Bungs' should be sent here in the first instance, you may experience a delay of several years before you receive your licence.

and now on to Equipment, most of what you will require for a successful shoot can be obtained from any well stocked branch of Halfords or B&Q homecare, here you can buy a lighting rig consisting of a torch or front light from a bicycle and attach to your wrist whilst using the camera built into your mobile phone, and presto ! you will be working at a level of quality that puts you on a par with 90% of all porn out there ! and dont forget to practice that vital technique that always sorts the wannabes from the genuine article....wave the camera frantically at the action not keeping still for a moment except if the model has a particularly bad Boob job then by all means zoom in and pay close attention to any scarring/lacerations that may be on show... and as an important aside, a confident cameraman/Director is alway able to carry a scene by adjoining the action with witty riposte's and other such laudable attempts at humour, so make sure you are up to date on the entire library of dialogue from the English 'Carry On' movies.

and now we move to that misty eyed land known as 'model agency' and its the part that will test the patience of the most dedicated of Adult Film Directors, you will become familiar with terms oft heard from models such as ' my phone was on charge' or 'my car broke down' or other gems such as ' I thought it was next thursday ' and of course that all time favourite, 'my boyfriend doesnt want me to do it anymore' , you will need the patience of a saint if you are to overcome these hurdles, many startup companies fail here because they lack the necessary mental resilience to deal with the 'model agency' , perseverance and a desire for self mutilation are good personal traits to explore at this point.

and finally we move onto the BBFC, the 'Pornographers friend' to use its correct name, you can of course just go to their website at bbfc.co.uk, but a far more expedient and cheaper method is not to bother obtaining classification for your film, simply make multiple copies of your work and distribute it through the tried and trusted method of the 'Boot Fair' or the small ads in the 'Loot' whilst selling your film at 'Boot Fairs' you may find it helpful to wear an eye patch, stand on one leg and put a stuffed parrot on your shoulder, you will then be reinforcing the stereotype of a 'Pirate' thus enabling you to sell more copies or your film ! !

of course it may just be possible that none of the above information is remotely true, and as a disclaimer I do not accept responsibility for any loss or damage that may occur should you take any of my crappy advice.

otherwise try looking at the 'links' page of this website.

[Jacques]

Pfft!

You loon.....

[mark cremona]

sorry Jacques its the Absinthe I picked up when I was overseas recently..... a restless saturday night with only a bottle , this podcast of very deep house and a vain search for inspiration......

[Bob Singleton]

Joe A wrote:

SNIP

The major prob would be finding models who can work to a script without fluffing their lines all the time etc.

SNIP


=======================================================================

So THAT'S why they're called "fluffers"!!!!

[davewells]

You all forgot that you'll need a big deep pocket full of wonga not only to shoot whatever with but then to live on whilst you try and get your money back from any sales !

[one eyed jack]

If you're getting into it to make money...well, if you have a good product you might make a living if you are lucky but if you've got money to blow...Then give me some. Thanks. This racket aint easy if you are walking into it for the frist time. Not these days. The markets saturated with product so unless you have something that everyone well and truly wants and that is not out there right now (this means appealing, never seen before girls) and an engaging enough video then yeah...Give it a shot. Otherwise its a good way to blow a load of money and go broke....You might even have a bit of fun doing so