My staunch Catholic colleague was telling me his local Priest was joking the next Pope should be decided by a tv phone in like some "talent" show...I can see it now......over to you Monsignor Cowelli!
On my left, Cardinal Seamus "The Ringbeast" O'Flaherty, a leading light in Irish dry bumming circles (no pun intended).
On centre stage Herman Untermenschen Hamburger from Argentina. Herman is the grandson of a German weapons making family who mysteriously set up shop in the summer of 1945...
On my right Cardinal Umboto Gorgeous from Nigeria who worked as a telephone conman before moving into the church where he was welcomed for his fund raising talents....