A situation has arose that i need some advice/thoughts about,so i thought who better than the good people over at BGAFD!......
The situation is this...the current Mrs tEz has a 6 year old daughter by her soon to be exhusband,she also has an ex boyfriend,who she lived with for a couple of years who basically brought the little girl up from the ages of 2-5,heres my problem....
The ex boyfriend,who apparently is very maniplative and controlling has "demarnded" to see the daughter (not even his) and sited "Step Fathers Rights" although the current Mrs tEz has told him that in her daughters interest she duznt want him to see her.
He has refused to take this and rings/txts regular trying to force Mrs tEz to back down and as i said is claiming "Step Fathers Rights"
1st....Has anybody heard of this? ...... Although he was never the girls "step father" and never adopted the daughter,duz he actually have any rights or is he just the man that was there at the time.?
2nd ..... Fighting my first feelings of going round to talk to him and i mean talk,i have suggested that my GF just ignore his calls/txts or make a log of them and contact the police.
3rd ..... Have suggested that she and the girls father invite him round,put on a united front (which would scare him as he is basically a bully who only only feels big when bulling women) and tell to him to his face to back off,the ex claims its in the girls "interest" to continue to still see him
Or 4th just twat the clearly "special" 27 year old who has only ever been with one person in his life and lives in his grans backroom and has an unhealthy interest in a 6 year year old LOL
I fully understand he was there in her early years but surely its the mothers (and fathers) right to say no to someone who is no longer in the daughters life?
Your thoughts and feelings welcomed
tEz
Bit of "advice" and thoughts needed....
Re: Bit of "advice" and thoughts needed....
I am not a lawyer- but I have a little personal experience, Tez....if in doubt, contact a lawyer.
Tez wrote:
> The situation is this...the current Mrs tEz has a 6 year old
> daughter by her soon to be exhusband,she also has an ex
> boyfriend,who she lived with for a couple of years who
> basically brought the little girl up from the ages of 2-5,heres
> my problem....
>
> The ex boyfriend,who apparently is very maniplative and
> controlling has "demarnded" to see the daughter (not even his)
> and sited "Step Fathers Rights" although the current Mrs tEz
> has told him that in her daughters interest she duznt want him
> to see her.
>
> He has refused to take this and rings/txts regular trying to
> force Mrs tEz to back down and as i said is claiming "Step
> Fathers Rights"
>
> 1st....Has anybody heard of this? ...... Although he was never
> the girls "step father" and never adopted the daughter,duz he
> actually have any rights or is he just the man that was there
> at the time.?
He has no rights at all- not the father or stepfather. A shame if he did genuinely bring the child up himself.
>
> 2nd ..... Fighting my first feelings of going round to talk to
> him and i mean talk,i have suggested that my GF just ignore his
> calls/txts or make a log of them and contact the police.
>
> 3rd ..... Have suggested that she and the girls father invite
> him round,put on a united front (which would scare him as he is
> basically a bully who only only feels big when bulling women)
> and tell to him to his face to back off,the ex claims its in
> the girls "interest" to continue to still see him
>
> Or 4th just twat the clearly "special" 27 year old who has only
> ever been with one person in his life and lives in his grans
> backroom and has an unhealthy interest in a 6 year year old LOL
You said it. Not hit him, but point out his lack of rights. The police might well be interested in his interest in small girls and in bullying women.
>
> I fully understand he was there in her early years but surely
> its the mothers (and fathers) right to say no to someone who is
> no longer in the daughters life?
>
> Your thoughts and feelings welcomed
>
> tEz
Tez,
Big question mate. Why did your missus let her boyfriend- no blood relation- bring up her daughter when he clearly hasn't just developed an interest in small girls overnight?
The problem that you have is that if you get the police involved in any way at all, he may cite your missus' neglect of her own daughter in court.
Where was your missus when all this was taking place from 2-5.
Sorry if these will be painful questions, mate.
Tez wrote:
> The situation is this...the current Mrs tEz has a 6 year old
> daughter by her soon to be exhusband,she also has an ex
> boyfriend,who she lived with for a couple of years who
> basically brought the little girl up from the ages of 2-5,heres
> my problem....
>
> The ex boyfriend,who apparently is very maniplative and
> controlling has "demarnded" to see the daughter (not even his)
> and sited "Step Fathers Rights" although the current Mrs tEz
> has told him that in her daughters interest she duznt want him
> to see her.
>
> He has refused to take this and rings/txts regular trying to
> force Mrs tEz to back down and as i said is claiming "Step
> Fathers Rights"
>
> 1st....Has anybody heard of this? ...... Although he was never
> the girls "step father" and never adopted the daughter,duz he
> actually have any rights or is he just the man that was there
> at the time.?
He has no rights at all- not the father or stepfather. A shame if he did genuinely bring the child up himself.
>
> 2nd ..... Fighting my first feelings of going round to talk to
> him and i mean talk,i have suggested that my GF just ignore his
> calls/txts or make a log of them and contact the police.
>
> 3rd ..... Have suggested that she and the girls father invite
> him round,put on a united front (which would scare him as he is
> basically a bully who only only feels big when bulling women)
> and tell to him to his face to back off,the ex claims its in
> the girls "interest" to continue to still see him
>
> Or 4th just twat the clearly "special" 27 year old who has only
> ever been with one person in his life and lives in his grans
> backroom and has an unhealthy interest in a 6 year year old LOL
You said it. Not hit him, but point out his lack of rights. The police might well be interested in his interest in small girls and in bullying women.
>
> I fully understand he was there in her early years but surely
> its the mothers (and fathers) right to say no to someone who is
> no longer in the daughters life?
>
> Your thoughts and feelings welcomed
>
> tEz
Tez,
Big question mate. Why did your missus let her boyfriend- no blood relation- bring up her daughter when he clearly hasn't just developed an interest in small girls overnight?
The problem that you have is that if you get the police involved in any way at all, he may cite your missus' neglect of her own daughter in court.
Where was your missus when all this was taking place from 2-5.
Sorry if these will be painful questions, mate.
Re: Bit of "advice" and thoughts needed....
Check out what rights he has which shouldn't be too difficult. I suspect he doesn't have any. Imagine if a woman with a young child had let's say three successive relationships of a couple of years each during the child's formative years, including the father. I don't think a court would countenance the involvement of four adult males in the child's life. It would just be too confusing.
He was there but because of the age of the child he will be forgotten. It might be different if he'd been there for 10 years and been really involved in socialization and education etc.
If there's nuisance value in him you could offer him a kind of compromise opportunity of giving small birthday and christmas gifts and his interest will probably wane pretty quickly. Otherwise, just explain your position and suggest he accepts it and moves on.
He was there but because of the age of the child he will be forgotten. It might be different if he'd been there for 10 years and been really involved in socialization and education etc.
If there's nuisance value in him you could offer him a kind of compromise opportunity of giving small birthday and christmas gifts and his interest will probably wane pretty quickly. Otherwise, just explain your position and suggest he accepts it and moves on.
Re: Bit of "advice" and thoughts needed....
Colonel wrote ....."
Tez,
Big question mate. Why did your missus let her boyfriend- no blood relation- bring up her daughter when he clearly hasn't just developed an interest in small girls overnight?
The problem that you have is that if you get the police involved in any way at all, he may cite your missus' neglect of her own daughter in court.
Where was your missus when all this was taking place from 2-5.
Sorry if these will be painful questions, mate"
I think our wires may of been a bit crossed mate,Mrs tEz split from her husband shortly after the birth and met her ex BF,who at the time was the right person in the right place as much as showed her attention,affection etc unlike her husband,Mrs tEz was depressed and low at the time,with the baby blues and the end of her marriage and found herself being maniplated by him in respect of his constantly putting her down,claiming she was cheating etc she thinks he liked the idea of a ready made family for him,house,gf with good job,bit of money etc clearly thinking he'd feel on his feet!
As she became stronger she started to question him and say no,something he hadnt heard before,they split and he moved out,never any violence but a lot of threats/early morning phone calls and knocking at the door etc,she quite rightly became nervous of him.....
He became the "father" figure towards her daughter and she admits,was there sometimes more than the actual father,but the question is,duz that give him any right to demand his "step father" rights?
I didnt mean to imply he had a "thing" for young girls ,i meant althou that relationship was over,to me,its just a bit weird to carry on in this manner,i mean if me and the current Mrs tEz split up after 2 years should i have the right to demand to see the child?
I understand where he's coming from,i do,but if the child duznt ask about him and it would confuse her,shouldnt the mother make the choice,esp after the way he "demands" to see her....she understands she has a father and a mother,who love her,why make it worst ?
tEz
Tez,
Big question mate. Why did your missus let her boyfriend- no blood relation- bring up her daughter when he clearly hasn't just developed an interest in small girls overnight?
The problem that you have is that if you get the police involved in any way at all, he may cite your missus' neglect of her own daughter in court.
Where was your missus when all this was taking place from 2-5.
Sorry if these will be painful questions, mate"
I think our wires may of been a bit crossed mate,Mrs tEz split from her husband shortly after the birth and met her ex BF,who at the time was the right person in the right place as much as showed her attention,affection etc unlike her husband,Mrs tEz was depressed and low at the time,with the baby blues and the end of her marriage and found herself being maniplated by him in respect of his constantly putting her down,claiming she was cheating etc she thinks he liked the idea of a ready made family for him,house,gf with good job,bit of money etc clearly thinking he'd feel on his feet!
As she became stronger she started to question him and say no,something he hadnt heard before,they split and he moved out,never any violence but a lot of threats/early morning phone calls and knocking at the door etc,she quite rightly became nervous of him.....
He became the "father" figure towards her daughter and she admits,was there sometimes more than the actual father,but the question is,duz that give him any right to demand his "step father" rights?
I didnt mean to imply he had a "thing" for young girls ,i meant althou that relationship was over,to me,its just a bit weird to carry on in this manner,i mean if me and the current Mrs tEz split up after 2 years should i have the right to demand to see the child?
I understand where he's coming from,i do,but if the child duznt ask about him and it would confuse her,shouldnt the mother make the choice,esp after the way he "demands" to see her....she understands she has a father and a mother,who love her,why make it worst ?
tEz
-
JonnyHungwell
- Posts: 1230
- Joined: Fri Jul 14, 2017 2:40 am
Re: Bit of "advice" and thoughts needed....
Legally speaking I think he has no rights at all. I've heard of grandparents who have been denied access to grandchildren and they have no rights either, even though there is a family relationship. The real parents or adoptive parents (and he isn't one) have the only legal rights.
But saying that, if it were me making the decision, I'd take account of what the little girl wanted to some extent - unless there are doubts about his character/motives.
But saying that, if it were me making the decision, I'd take account of what the little girl wanted to some extent - unless there are doubts about his character/motives.