Spaffer Johnson's Government

A place to socialise and share opinions with other members of the BGAFD Community.
spider
Posts: 2384
Joined: Fri Jul 14, 2017 2:40 am

Re: Spaffer Johnson's Government

Post by spider »

Days since WHO said "test, test, test": 210

Days since The Spaffer promised a world-beating track & trace: 144

Days since he promised all test results in 24 hrs: 112

Test results in 24 hrs: 25.7%

Days when test & trace has done its job: 0

If only we knew why we're locking down again.


Another Day, another fuck up.
spider
Posts: 2384
Joined: Fri Jul 14, 2017 2:40 am

Re: Spaffer Johnson's Government

Post by spider »

Chris Whitty unveils the new 10 tier Covid system
1 - Medium
2 - High
3 - Very High
4 - oh shit
5 - no, this can't be right
6 - We're doomed
7 - someone might survive
8 - someone might not
9 - Tory constituencies in lock down
10 - all dead


Another day, another fuck up
spider
Posts: 2384
Joined: Fri Jul 14, 2017 2:40 am

Re: Spaffer Johnson's Government

Post by spider »

WHAT THERE IS MONEY FOR
?100bn for Operation Moonshot
?12bn for failed Test & trace
?3bn+ to pals for PPE that often doesn?t work
?1bn+ for post-Brexit border
?130bn lost through Brexit

WHAT THERE ISN?T MONEY FOR
Paying people whose jobs have gone enough to survive


Another day, another fuck up
spider
Posts: 2384
Joined: Fri Jul 14, 2017 2:40 am

Re: Spaffer Johnson's Government

Post by spider »

Spaffer Johnson's operation moonshot speech:

"This nation should commit itself to achieving the goal, before this decade is out, of landing a man in Barnard Castle and waiving all fines and council tax bills"


Another day, another fuck up.


Onwards and upwards to 300 postings (if the Spaffer lasts that long LOL)
spider
Posts: 2384
Joined: Fri Jul 14, 2017 2:40 am

Re: Spaffer Johnson's Government

Post by spider »

Possibly the least surprising news story of the day.

That Johnson was having an affair whilst funneling money to his mistress should come as no surprise.

Our money, note.

Jennifer Arcuri 'admits to Boris Johnson affair'



Another day, another fuck up.
spider
Posts: 2384
Joined: Fri Jul 14, 2017 2:40 am

Re: Spaffer Johnson's Government

Post by spider »

Jennifer Arcuri says she had an an affair with the Spaffer.

The Spaffer says he didn't.

Who are you going to believe - her, or someone who got sacked twice for lying, lied to The Queen and cheated on two wives?

Who are you going to believe the fake blonde with big tits or Jennifer Arcuri?


Another day, another fuck up.
spider
Posts: 2384
Joined: Fri Jul 14, 2017 2:40 am

Re: Spaffer Johnson's Government

Post by spider »

NOT A GOOD USE OF MONEY:
- Paying people enough to self-isolate
- Paying people/businesses in Manchester enough to survive
- Providing food for starving kids at Xmas

GOOD USE OF MONEY:
- ?7k an hour for consultants for failed Test & Trace



Another day, another fuck up.
spider
Posts: 2384
Joined: Fri Jul 14, 2017 2:40 am

Re: Spaffer Johnson's Government

Post by spider »

Spaffer Johnson can?t get a deal, can?t manage covid, can?t manage the union, can?t manage industry, can?t manage the NHS, can?t manage school exams.

Spaffer Johnson couldn't organise a hospitality event in a beer manufacturing plant.

Another day another fuck up.
spider
Posts: 2384
Joined: Fri Jul 14, 2017 2:40 am

Re: Spaffer Johnson's Government

Post by spider »

FUN FACT
The government spent twice as much on last year?s ad campaign for a Brexit that didn?t happen than they?re giving Manchester.

The ferry company with no ferries cost more than they?re giving to Manchester.


Another day another fuck up
spider
Posts: 2384
Joined: Fri Jul 14, 2017 2:40 am

Re: Spaffer Johnson's Government

Post by spider »

MORE FUN FACTS
Greater Manchester is getting less than the ?25m Robert Jenrick?s constituency was given by the Towns Fund that he?s in charge of.

It?s getting under half of the estimated ?50m Jenrick saved a Tory donor in planning fees.

Another day another fuck up
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