Review of SuburbanSluts latest dvd

[vila]

So drop dead gorgeous stunners aren't allowed to have regional accents??? Eccentric, to say the least.

[Officer Dibble]

" I think could be offensive to this girl!"

Oh dear, oh dear! Shock! Horror! And, er, so what? That's Mex's gut reaction and his honest opinion. Do you reckon instead of telling us the truth he should have made something nicer up? That's so much bull. I'd like to shake his hand for having the balls to speak his mind; it's like a breath of fresh air.

I know Rachel and she's no shrinking violet, she's got a very robust personality and I doubt very much whether she would run home crying at being subjected to such trifling critique. My saarf London and Eastend colleagues are always poking gentle fun at my northern accent and I give as good as I get. It's good fun and always a source of minor amusement between us.

I agree with Mex that although the northern accent (Yorks/Lancs) is generally perceived as being honest, reliable, straight to the no airs and graces point, it does in no way sound erotic or conjure up images of sexual activity - except maybe between Lady Chatterley and her horny gamekeeper. Yes, it would be better if Rachel had a BBC accent (my knobs fair throbbing at the thought!) but let's be grateful for small mercies. Rachel is a genuinely glamorous girl, a very rare and precious commodity in these naff adult entertainment times. In fact I can think of very few others who I could apply that label to at the moment. So, I for one am only to ready to forgive Rachel her 'Corrie' accent as her looks and grooming suggest her natural habit would be the of deck of a ?1,000,000 Sunseeker yacht, and it's not like we are pulled out with opportunities to interface with that calibre of girl, is it?

Officer Dibble.

[Lizard]

"I agree with Mex that although the northern accent (Yorks/Lancs) is generally perceived as being honest, reliable, straight to the no airs and graces point, it does in no way sound erotic or conjure up images of sexual activity"

Oh, right then, so a Northern accent precludes you from bieng thought of as erotic and sexy eh!what utter dribble from dibble.

[Officer Dibble]

"Oh, right then, so a Northern accent precludes you from being thought of as erotic and sexy eh!"

I didn't say that at all, did I? (Eer, you're not related to that 'Spook' chap are you?) I said northern accents do not sound particularly erotic - as opposed to say a French accent for instance. That's what I said. Mex knows what I mean.

If you were making an erotic movie you certainly would not be going out of your way to populate it with broad regional accents because, apart from Mellors the gamekeeper in Lady Chatterley, it's not particularly sexy and in the worst cases can sound quiet negative and downmarket. In fact certain northern accents can get right up everyone?s noses - you know the one I mean. As an erotic film maker and given a free choice I would plump for a well spoken posh BBC type voice any day - it's neutral, introducing the idea of posh birds doing naughty things always generates an extra frisson of excitement and that kind of posh British accent plays very well in the States and elsewhere. But, swings and roundabouts, (most) northern accents have other virtues as I alluded to earlier.

Dibble

[magoo]

But thats just your opinion Dibble. As you point out its swings and roundabouts. I happen to find northern accents and bbc accents both sexy in girls but it depends on the context. A posh bird can appeal to the viewer but so can the more "normal" everyday accents such as a manc accent or even dare I say it a scouse one. I would expect a posh accent more fitting in a film titled for example Sloane Slappers, Ascot Anal Antics or Toffee-Nosed Tarts (three ideas for your next releases), but the title Suburban Sluts does sort of suggest one might encounter the odd foul-mouthed Northerner. Variety is the spice of life.....or is that garam massala.

Magoo (also a Northerner and somewhat annoyed to discover Dibble isnt an Essex Boy like I imagined!!!)

[magoo]

PS I agree with you about Mex being allowed an opinion though. I got slapped down in the past for complaining about the "oh, isnt she divine" brigade who get hostile at constructive criticism. It seems its OK to say a producers work is crap, or that certain studs are shit but woe betide anyone who criticises the performance of two or three girls. The forumite hordes will descend upon them with mighty wrath and anger for having the temerity to criticise their idol.

[Officer Dibble]

Not just my opinion, there is a broader consensus out there in 'the real world.' In my position I can't let opinions - either mine or anyone else?s, colour my artistic and commercial judgment - or I don't eat. Yes, I?m sure there are folks who love it and prefer it that way - although I haven't actually met any. On the whole my profesional opinion would be that strong regional accents are best avoided in erotic cinema for all sorts of reasons. Not least of which is that it is simply distracting, like an aural version of the tattoo and the studded belly button - You're trying to concentrate on the shagging but your attention is being tugged at by this these, usually, high contrast anomalies. It's extremely irritating and annoying. I experienced this very phenomenon last night while trying to review a shag film featuring a well know bird. I didn't enjoy the movie.

I dig your proposed film titles, just the sort of thing the Officer might come up with. "Toffee-Nosed Tarts" eh? Cushty - Excuse my saarf London patios. It comes from haggin' out with all those moody London geezers - Sadly it'll never get made simply because there's a dearth of 'Toffee-Nosed Tarts' willing to appear in porno.... And that's one of the problems with your "Variety is the spice of life" There isn't much variety nowadays as almost every Brit movie just tends to feature "Tired Suburban Sluts."

Essex boy? Nay lad, am moor of 'n Hovis boy mi sen.


Dibble.

[Officer Dibble]

Dam right. But website proprietor Jason 'came out' the other week and let rip with that which he had been bottling up - basically saying that saying that the majority of current porno birds were demonstrably crap and that the "oh, isn?t she divine brigade" were all knob heads. And I can tell you in confidence that some of my producer colleagues in private are far more scathing than that. Though they never give any indication of what they really feel when posting here.

Dibble.

[Matt]

I would just like to belatedly add that although I personally have never found the Northern (if there is such a thing) accent slant appealing, when it comes to British porn, as long as it's done in a seductive, slutty way (which again, is a personal favourite) then I don't think you can beat the Manc/Lanc accent. I always remember a little fifteen minute short featuring a couple of ladies, one slightly more dominant with a thick Lancashire accent. I think it was called 'Wet T Shirt' or something, which was bizarre because it had nothing to do with that competition! Still, it was great and it was only great because 1. There was dominant person involved and 2. That dominant person was a Northerner.

That said, a thick cockney accent can also be superb. Shit, I don't know. I guess accents are secondary to charisma.

[Lizard]

Here endeth the thread, AFAIC,I,m sticking to my original post, I dont agree or disagree that a Northern accent isn,t sexy, the point was whenever you make a personal comment about a girl,it,s just rude! especially as many grace this forum, but as the officer say,s he knows her and she wont be bothered.

Great, back to me tea then.