The OLD one,s are the best O/T

[Lizard]

Two old pensioners are taking a trip down memory

lane by going back to the place where they first met.

Sitting at a cafe, the little old man says,

"Remember the first time I met you over 50 years ago?

We left this cafe, went round the corner behind

the gas works, and I gave you one from behind."

"Why, yes, I remember it well, dear,"

replies the little old lady with a grin.

"Well, for old time's sake, let's go there again,

and I'll give you one from behind."

The two pensioners pay their bill and leave the cafe.

A young man sitting next to them has overheard the

conversation and smiles to himself, thinking it would

be quite amusing to see two old pensioners at it.

He gets up and follows them.

Sure enough, he sees the two pensioners near the gas works.

The little old lady pulls off her knickers and lifts up her dress.

The old man pulls down his pants and grabs the lady's hips.

The little old lady reaches for the fence.

Well, what follows is 40 minutes of the most athletic sex

the man has ever seen.

The little old man is banging away at the little old woman

at a pace that can only be described as phenomenal.

Limbs are flying everywhere, the movement is a blur, and

they do not stop for a single second.

Finally, they collapse and don't move for ages.

Well, the man is stunned.

Never in his life has he ever seen anything that equates

to this - not in the movies, not from his friends, not

from his own experiences.

Reflecting on what he has just seen, he says to himself,

"I have to know his secret. If only I could shag like that

now, let alone in 50 years time!"

The two old pensioners have by this time recovered and dressed

themselves.

Plucking up courage, the man approaches the pensioner.

He says,

"Sir, in all my life I have never seen anybody shag

like that, particularly at your age. What's your secret?

Could you shag like that 50 years ago?"

The pensioner replies,

"Son, 50 years ago, that fucking fence wasn't electrified."

[steve56]

what do you get if you cross blow up with the italian job=blowjob

[steve56]

how can you tell one end of a worm from another?

[Lizard]

So whats the punchline?

[steve56]

stick it in a bowl of flour and wait for it to fart!

[marcusallen]

That's the key Liz!!
Got it. I'm going to wire the place up
Should give The Chairman something to think about as well.

[Lizard]

Marcus, with the greatest respect,please dont tamper with electricity, leave it to the professionals...... ask Magoo.

[marcusallen]

I once sat in The Electric Chair in Walpole Mass.
Not that I was on Death Row, I hasten to add, I was the editor of the prison newspaper - "The Mentor"
Believe me, electric switches are important to me!
With respect to <Magoo, I would not ask his advice re elec. - he drinks too much.
I say this as a tee-totaller

[jj]

'Tee-totaller'.....I see you're still learning a new word every day !!
Please remember: the Scottish economy would collapse without you.......

[marcusallen]

JJ,
I try to do my bit for the heathens north of the border, but it is, sadly, a lost cause.
There is a certain kilted wonder(No names) currently resident here, who does NOT SYPPORT his local economy inh the way that I do