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What with Iraq and the 'all porn folk are evil' line taken by the media I can't think of anything more topical but, I'll play by the rules.

Can you tell the difference between a porn moustache and an evil dictator's?

Alright - 15 out of 16 - does this show an unhealthy interest in moustaches?

Incidentally I of course spotted good old President Habre of Chad but why are the nasty Americans calling him a despot and then mispelling his name into the bargain...

You ought to be more interested in those cute moustaches wot (some) ladies have down below.
Dead impressed with yer knowledge of obscure sub-Saharan dictators, but the Americans mis-spell nearly everything (and usually mispronounce what they spell right).
Probably get deleted now for anti-Americanism.......while WG's in the mood.......

You mean pants-moustaches also known as spider-legs when you see a few strands escaping from the gusset beneath the elastic.

And of course you wont get deleted. Your not contreversial enough. Or drunk enough. Your far too sensible in your slippers and pipe to be a radical forumite who gets deleted. I was a bad boy at school and always getting the strap (called tors in Sconny Botland) but I bet you always did your homework and thought writing "poo" on the bog wall was the hight of rebeliousness.

Isnt it time for your Horlicks yet?

Tors are piles of boulders on hill tops in Cornwall. I think you mean taws. Take a hundred lines.

I'm always getting into hot water with my controversial letters to the 'Twitchers' Gazette' about reed-warblers in Suffolk.
Although unlike you I was unfortunate enough not to be offered a scholarship to Dotheboys Hall, I have a long and distinguished record of suffering institutional violence.
And I HATE Horlicks. Ovaltine, now, that's a drink for a man.....
P.S. Double-bill of South Park now on Ch4. Byeeee.........

Lines are definately preferred to the strap(taws). Even the sadists who educated me could not manage to lift a whole Cornish hillside to reign down punishment upon us deliquent scholars.

Anyone else familiar with RC Christian Brothers?

South Park now over (had the Fuckoffasauruses in it- are they related to the Profanisauruses?).
Also spelled 'tawse', frequently dished out by the dominie.
Now, is it reigning..........?

Thanks - thought there might be an e in it but couldn't be bothered to look it up. I'll write a few of magoo's lines for him.

Also rang a bell for the game, taws, the singular being a large marble.
However, Chambers only allows it in the singular, i.e. 'a game of taw', which to my ear sounds uncouth.