O/T New Zen Rules
Posted: Fri Jan 24, 2003 8:21 pm
It seems this forum need to see this list of New Zen Rules that was sent to me a while ago.....read and enjoy!
1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk
ahead of me,for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path
is narrow. In fact, just f*@k off and leave me alone.
2.The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan
belt and a flat tyre.
3. The darkest hour is just before dawn. So if you're going
to steal your neighbor's milk, that's the time to do it.
4. Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't
getting any..
5. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you
can't be promoted.
6. No one is listening until you fart.
7. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.
8. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
9.If you think nobody cares whether you're alive or dead,
try missing a couple of mortgage payments.
10. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in
their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mileaway
and you have their shoes.
11. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him
how to fish,and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
13. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person
again,it was probably worth it.
14.If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember
anything.
15. Some days you are the bug; some days you are the
windscreen.
16.Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.
17.Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of
that comes from bad judgment.
18. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in
half and put it back in your pocket.
19. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
20. Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a
dark side, and it holds the universe together.
21 There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one
works.
22. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your
lips are moving.
23.Experience is something you don't get until just after
you need it.
24. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
25. We are born naked, wet, and hungry, and get slapped on
our arse ..then things get worse .
1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk
ahead of me,for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path
is narrow. In fact, just f*@k off and leave me alone.
2.The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan
belt and a flat tyre.
3. The darkest hour is just before dawn. So if you're going
to steal your neighbor's milk, that's the time to do it.
4. Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't
getting any..
5. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you
can't be promoted.
6. No one is listening until you fart.
7. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.
8. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
9.If you think nobody cares whether you're alive or dead,
try missing a couple of mortgage payments.
10. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in
their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mileaway
and you have their shoes.
11. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him
how to fish,and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
13. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person
again,it was probably worth it.
14.If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember
anything.
15. Some days you are the bug; some days you are the
windscreen.
16.Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.
17.Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of
that comes from bad judgment.
18. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in
half and put it back in your pocket.
19. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
20. Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a
dark side, and it holds the universe together.
21 There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one
works.
22. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your
lips are moving.
23.Experience is something you don't get until just after
you need it.
24. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
25. We are born naked, wet, and hungry, and get slapped on
our arse ..then things get worse .