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i know i'm putting myself out there. but here it goes. i've been watching porn for 15 years. when i was younger, i didn't feel the need to form a connection to what i was watching. i understood, and still do, that this is their job and it's how they earn their living. but in the last couple of years, watching porn isn't as enjoyable as it used to be. i reach out to these men and women to try to understand (other than money) what drives them to perform in porn. i get no answers, which then leaves me thinking they don't care about blokes like me. i'm just funny in the aspect of wanting to form some kind of connection with the performers, so i could enjoy what i'm watching more. i want to know what's their motivation and what their off-camera interests are. i still have the urge to watch, but it all feels so plastic and forced. i'm going through some depression over it right now. i guess what i'm asking is should i keep watching porn??? for those who took the time, thanks for reading this.

give it up if its making you feel bad......

Sounds like you've massively overanalysing the whole thing and possibly obsessing about it as well. Neither is healthy. Take a complete break from it for maybe 6 months and find something else to occupy your time and mind.

sound advice that Milk Tray Man.

Indeed. Like a lot of people who got obsessed when the internet allowed us to watch stuff we had never seen before the fact that it is now 24/7 the illicitness (is that a word) has gone. Add in the fact that a lot of British porn is now crap.....

A lot of British porn is crap? Or just porn in general?? Or just British porn?

What about porn from say...Azerbaijan or Ukrainian porn? Ha ha ...Ok I thnk you get my drift.

Some sound advice from folks here for a change. Sounds like you need to decompress, but if you want to get some insight into this racket we call porn then you can always check out my podcast shows on the topic:



Check out my Real Couples podcast shows if you want to get behind the scenes



Or even check out

Ava DaLush

Sienna Day ( I did her very first two shoots before she flew out to the US the next day)

Hope it helps you some

i thank a lot of you for your response. i'm the kind of person that when i love something, i throw myself into it. i don't go half-way. i would never go as far as stalk somebody in the business or be creepy like build a shrine for them. i'm just wanting to know these people enough to where i feel comfortable watching their scenes. i reach out and they don't reach back, that turns me off and hurts my feelings. recently, i've been enamored with a woman named priva (aka libellule). i saw her face and i was instantly drawn to her. i have a (lack of a better term) fetish for knowledge, i like to learn about things and people and i soak it up like a sponge. i feel porn dehumanizes people to where we don't know them as people. yeah, it's great to see a beautiful woman being dped or watching her swallow a massive load, but it's just as fun for me to know what kind of music she likes or what her favorite color is or what her turn ons and turn offs are. it might be because i never had a father figure and i was raised by women and i've been around women all my life and i feel comfortable around women. back in january, i saw pictures of one of priva's gangbang scenes and it made me uncomfortable because i had the feeling she was being raped on camera. her husband was one of the men in the scene, but it just made me feel uncomfortable until i watched it and now, it's ok. i also don't like it when a woman is being choked, slapped, spit on, peed on or rimjobing somebody. it don't feel right to me. once again, i thank all those who read this, i know a lot of you think i'm strange because i just don't see porn as most see it. but, i'm going through a tough time in my life and porn is a part of it. i just don't have anybody to turn to (no friends and no girlfriend) and it's harder when i have to figure it out myself. it really depresses me at times. thanks for caring enough to read this.

It's good that you see the performers as human beings because that's what they are, and I'm not into all that slapping and spitting stuff either.

However I'd argue that the main purpose of porn (besides titilation of course) is pure escapism. Same as "mainstream" movies that we see at the cinema. We watch to be entertained, and most of us probably don't give a fig what music Charlize Theron likes, or what Scarlett Johannsen's favourite food is. We may take a momentary, superficial interest in such trivia if we chance across it in a newspaper or a magazine, but otherwise it's unimportant and we don't give it a second thought.

Try and adopt the same approach when you're watching porn and don't overanalyse because it's clear to me that it's (at best) reducing your enjoyment of porn or (at worst) taking over your mind. Otherwise you wouldn't be here asking questions if it wasn't a problem. Either way, as I said above it's not healthy so if you can't detach yourself mentally from all this stuff, it seems to me that you really do need to take a break from it for a while and try and find another interest.

it's hard to do considering porn is a real passion of mine. ever since i was 18 (I'm 29 now), i wanted to be a porn director because i like the thought of getting people off. when i got done with my school work, i used to write erotica in a binder when i was in junior high and high school. i would even take requests from people to write a erotic story about them and whomever they wished to be with in the story. i like sex, i like it a lot. but i notice that this business is dehumanizing the performers to the point that these people expect us not to care about them. i've watched some porn the last day or so and it don't really bother me as much because i think to myself they want me to be aroused by their actions. but it's always in the back of my mind that they are humans and somebody out their should care about them. i care enough to read the porn obituaries every month to see if anybody that i had the privilege to performing and enjoying their performance passed on. i especially hope they didn't take their life thinking nobody cared about them. i will continue to reach out at times to certain men and women i've enjoyed to tell them i enjoyed their work and i care enough to say so. i feel society judges these people for the job they do and that is wrong. family and friends disown and separate themselves from these people because of the stigma of the business and they sometimes feel alone, then they become guarded and untrustworthy of people because they don't want to be judged. i would never judge them because i've been their before. i know that road all too well of being different and being judged and not being accepted because of the way you are. i love porn and i can't/won't let it go because it's something i'm very passionate about. it's just disheartening when most of the people don't reach back. telling me to stop watching porn is like telling me to stop watching football for a whole season, it would kill me to not know how my boys in blue are doing.

Hi bluewomble858

Please dont take this as a criticism, because it was an interesting and thoughtful post, but next time try breaking it up into paragraphs and capitalise the first letter of a sentence. I stuck with it but many might not and it would be a shame not to get your points across.

Breaking it up makes what you have to say and an awful lot easier to read.

Welcome to BGAFD anyway.