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I know you are all feeling down because we are out of the World Cup, but here are a few witties that may amuse you ? !wink!

Q.. What's long and hard and has cum in it,

A. a cucumber

Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels.

Nice butts take my breath away. I?m assmatic.

You can tell a lot about a woman?s mood just by her hands. For example, if she's holding a gun, she?s probably angry.

A woman got wooden breast implants yesterday. It would be funny if this joke had a punch line, wooden tit?

Why does Piglet smell? Because he plays with Pooh.

My drug dealer really cracks me up.

How did i get out of Iraq? Iran.

What's funny and has two wheels? A kid falling off his bike.

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

I farted in the Apple store and everyone got pissed. Not my fault they don't have Windows.

What is Mozart doing right now? De-composing.

My friend Phillip had his lip removed today. We call him Phil now.

My mom said words can't hurt you, so I hit her in the head with a dictionary.

!wink!!laugh!!sad!!wink!!laugh!!sad!!wink!!laugh!