My local KFC at 2.00am this morning...
Posted: Sat Jun 14, 2014 10:59 pm
I was at the pub earlier with some pals, and when I'd finished watching England lose 2-1 to Italy I was heading home and considered getting something to eat. On the main road near me is a KFC, one of those small ones with three tables that always has loads of 'youths' hanging around outside it. Heading home I decided to get a burger and chips but I thought the place might have shut as there were loads of people by the door, and I thought it might be the staff closing up. I crossed the road, headed towards the place, and realised it was just local youngsters hanging around. I went in and ordered my chicken fillet-burger meal. There were two guys, about 20 years old, at the counter and the conversation went something like this (try and imagine young working-class WHITE Londoners talking in pretend Jamaican accents):
"But you ain't got no beef with them outside bruv, they ain't got no beef with you either bruv."
"I have yeah, I dissed one recently yeah, he got beef with me, I got beef with him."
"But you aint bruv, we leave yeah, he aint gone do nothing bruv."
"Him and his crew yeah, they can try yeah, but I'm gone lay them out yeah."
"Ain't no need for this bruv, just walk out yeah, they got no beef, you got no beef."
I was expecting a huge fight to start at any moment, the front door was open, about 15 guys were outside, and these two white pseudo-Jamaicans were about to leave. I'd ordered my KFC meal, it arrived, and I headed to one of tables available - clearing tons of debris lying on it from previous people who had eaten, the staff hadn't bothered to clear it away, and I sat down and ate this luke-warm food that had probably been sitting on the rack for 40 minutes.
The two guys left and I didn't bother to look at what happened next, but from the fact it was quiet outside I assumed there was no 'beef' between them and the posse standing out in the street. I am munching away on my luke-warm burger and two hard-looking guys, aged about 60, start going at it. One was already in there and the other had just walked in. The conversation went something like this:
"I know you from before don't I?" (The guy then goes to shake the other guys' hand, which he refuses).
"You won't take my f***ing hand, you took it in prison, you won't take it now?"
It's now starting to look like it might get aggressive and the staff have stopped what they're doing and are watching nervously.
"I'm not taking your hand" (said very loudly).
"What's you're f***ing problem?" (the staff are now looking at each other with those kind of 'shall we call the Police?' type expressions).
"I knew you in jail, what's with you?"
I'm now nearing the end of my burger and chips and will be glad to leave. I am thinking I might have to make a swift exit - mid meal - if a fight starts, but things calmed down when the second guy shook the other one's hand.
They both left and the staff went back to whatever they were doing. I finished up, left, and walked the last bit home. It made me realise that the staff in these places have to put up with idiots on a nightly basis, all for the low wages they get - drunken aggressive people about to fight each other over stupid things. You deserve a medal if you work late-night in one of those places! Here are some questions though:
1. Why is it that the lower someone's intelligence seems to be, the more keen they are to fight each other?
2. Why do many white working-class Londoners put on Jamaican accents when they speak?
3. Should KFC staff be paid danger-money to work past midnight?
I am not sure what the answers to the first two are, but regarding the third question I think the answer is 'yes!'. Lol.
"But you ain't got no beef with them outside bruv, they ain't got no beef with you either bruv."
"I have yeah, I dissed one recently yeah, he got beef with me, I got beef with him."
"But you aint bruv, we leave yeah, he aint gone do nothing bruv."
"Him and his crew yeah, they can try yeah, but I'm gone lay them out yeah."
"Ain't no need for this bruv, just walk out yeah, they got no beef, you got no beef."
I was expecting a huge fight to start at any moment, the front door was open, about 15 guys were outside, and these two white pseudo-Jamaicans were about to leave. I'd ordered my KFC meal, it arrived, and I headed to one of tables available - clearing tons of debris lying on it from previous people who had eaten, the staff hadn't bothered to clear it away, and I sat down and ate this luke-warm food that had probably been sitting on the rack for 40 minutes.
The two guys left and I didn't bother to look at what happened next, but from the fact it was quiet outside I assumed there was no 'beef' between them and the posse standing out in the street. I am munching away on my luke-warm burger and two hard-looking guys, aged about 60, start going at it. One was already in there and the other had just walked in. The conversation went something like this:
"I know you from before don't I?" (The guy then goes to shake the other guys' hand, which he refuses).
"You won't take my f***ing hand, you took it in prison, you won't take it now?"
It's now starting to look like it might get aggressive and the staff have stopped what they're doing and are watching nervously.
"I'm not taking your hand" (said very loudly).
"What's you're f***ing problem?" (the staff are now looking at each other with those kind of 'shall we call the Police?' type expressions).
"I knew you in jail, what's with you?"
I'm now nearing the end of my burger and chips and will be glad to leave. I am thinking I might have to make a swift exit - mid meal - if a fight starts, but things calmed down when the second guy shook the other one's hand.
They both left and the staff went back to whatever they were doing. I finished up, left, and walked the last bit home. It made me realise that the staff in these places have to put up with idiots on a nightly basis, all for the low wages they get - drunken aggressive people about to fight each other over stupid things. You deserve a medal if you work late-night in one of those places! Here are some questions though:
1. Why is it that the lower someone's intelligence seems to be, the more keen they are to fight each other?
2. Why do many white working-class Londoners put on Jamaican accents when they speak?
3. Should KFC staff be paid danger-money to work past midnight?
I am not sure what the answers to the first two are, but regarding the third question I think the answer is 'yes!'. Lol.