April Fool's Joke
Posted: Tue Apr 01, 2014 10:54 am
The selling off of Royal Mail.
1. We all owned the Royal Mail. It was a national asset. It was making a profit.
2. The coalition decided to flog it. As a sweetener, the government took responsibility for the entire pension liabilities of the Royal Mail.
3. The price of ?3.30 a share was far too low according to all independent financial commentators.
4. The government lost the taxpayer ?750 million in one day as the price soared on the first day of the sale. The shares are still 70% higher than the initial sale price.
5. Vince Cable allowed 16 long term investors priority access to the shares because he wanted a "stable long term and supportive shareholder base".
6. 6 of the priority investors sold off their shares within weeks of the float, making a real killing. Only 12% of the shares are still held by "priority investors".
7. Hedge funds bought the shares sold by priority investors. The very hedge funds described by Cable as "spivs and gamblers".
8. True to form, the hedge funds quickly got to grips with maximising short term profits. Two days before their results were due to be announced the Royal Mail announced the loss of 1300 net jobs in the Mail.
9. Who picks up the bill for unemployment benefit, housing benefit, council tax benefit etc. etc. for those 1300? The taxpayer.
Hilarious eh?
1. We all owned the Royal Mail. It was a national asset. It was making a profit.
2. The coalition decided to flog it. As a sweetener, the government took responsibility for the entire pension liabilities of the Royal Mail.
3. The price of ?3.30 a share was far too low according to all independent financial commentators.
4. The government lost the taxpayer ?750 million in one day as the price soared on the first day of the sale. The shares are still 70% higher than the initial sale price.
5. Vince Cable allowed 16 long term investors priority access to the shares because he wanted a "stable long term and supportive shareholder base".
6. 6 of the priority investors sold off their shares within weeks of the float, making a real killing. Only 12% of the shares are still held by "priority investors".
7. Hedge funds bought the shares sold by priority investors. The very hedge funds described by Cable as "spivs and gamblers".
8. True to form, the hedge funds quickly got to grips with maximising short term profits. Two days before their results were due to be announced the Royal Mail announced the loss of 1300 net jobs in the Mail.
9. Who picks up the bill for unemployment benefit, housing benefit, council tax benefit etc. etc. for those 1300? The taxpayer.
Hilarious eh?