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I used to wander the mean streets of Blackpool well tooled up. But hey it became a bit risky if I was picked on by the Feds.

Now I never go out at night without a pack of flapjacks.



Last Saturday, I flapjacked a guy who stood on my crocodile skin shoes.

All forensics have to go on are the crumbs, man.

Any comeback and I'm gonna bring out the one week old sultana scones.

Mind you, with your cooking I can imagine flapjacks being a real threat.

On a similar, but serious note, once all pupil have a 'school laptop' for doing everything on I can see pens and pencils being banned in the future.

Well a rock cake and stale pork pie were too much for poor Ernie.

Flapjacks on Sunday afternoon at my Mum's as a kid,oh happy days....

PC and H+S bollocks. Kind of thing our H+S manager would get excited about.

Why don't they just order the kids to stop throwing them? Oh no couldn't do that!

You can joke about foodstuffs being used as weapons, but I know of a certain milkman who, had a stale pork pie not caught him in the eye, would still be around to tell you just how dangerous they can be.



A salutary warning to us all I think.

Erm...........can you tell me how this decision was in any way 'politically correct'?

And before you spout off about Health and Safety, it actually all comes down to the general public suing after accidents, which lead to insuring against that, which lead to higher and higher insurance coving all manner of things which lead to a 'safety standard' to lower that insurance.

In other words, don't blame Health and Safety, blame lawyers, insurance sellers and people who claim for any accident they have regardless of whether if it was their fault or not.

"don't blame Health and Safety"

Elf N Pastry, surely!