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I?m now going to ?saddle? you with a plethora of horse lasagne jokes. You can like it or (sugar) lump it.


People who have eaten horse lasagne should be shot, especially if they fall over and break a leg.

Findus horse lasagne is bucking good.

Which Brazilian footballer loves horse lasagne? Naymar.

What kind of arreignment do Findus have with their meat suppliers?

Don?t eat Findus horse lasagne. It contains knackered meat.

Where do you take someone who is ill from eating horse lasagne? Horsepital.

Findus have declared that eating horse lasagne won?t make you ill. Findus are jumping to conclusions.

Findus are ?racing? to take horse lasagne off the shelves. It won?t be around furlong.

Findus horse lasagne tried to pass beef DNA tests. Fell at the first hurdle.

Friend of mine ate Findus horse lasagne. He took a fence (offence).

?Bet? that horse lasagne tastes good. Can?t wait to plough into some more.

Horse burgers. Now horse lasagne. Is Findus run by cowboys?

I am expecting them to paraphrase the old US burger advert ....."where's the beef?"....
What is a tad worrying is horsemeat and beaf are nowhere near the same texture so someone at Findus has been turning a blind eye or their quality control is shite.

Camoron said today that he finds horsemeat in findus lasagne rather distasteful.

Aldi's rating has just plummeted in a Gallop poll.

Comigel would?ve got away with it if it wasn?t for the DN Neigh test.

NAG SALE (Anag.)

Traces of Zebra have been uncovered in Aldi barcodes.

Findus lasagne found to contain horse meat. They are now checking the spaghetti bologneighs as well.

After eating Aldi Spag Bol my husband cleared the table ....... he jumped over it.

Frozen beef based products: to eat or not to eat, that is equestrian.

There was an old woman who swallowed a horse, she'd eaten Findus Lasagne, of course.

Told my mate I had a hot date with an Italian Stallion
- sounds a lot better than saying I'm sitting at home eating a Findus lasagne for one

A motorist gets pulled over by a police officer, who asks him to blow into a breathalyser. The machine beeps.
?I?m sorry Sir,? says the officer. ?You?re over the limit. Can you tell me what you have had tonight??
?Nothing Officer,? replies the man. ?Just a Findus Lasagne.?
?That explains it,? says the policeman. ?I knew I could smell Red Rum.?

A horse walks into a bar. Barman says 'sorry mate, we don't serve food in here'

Food scandal for vegetarians: radish found to be up to 100% horseradish

Next step: Scientists are analysing veggie burgers for uni-quorn.

I wonder what odds Paddy Power will give me on some cow or bull meat being found in a cheepie 'beef' meal.

Paddy Power are offering odds on the next species to be found contaminating beef products including :

2/1 Deer

4/1 Dog

6/1 Rabbit

16/1 Squirrel

33/1 Zebra

40/1 Swan

100/1 Lion

100/1 Penguin

1000/1 Bigfoot

2000/1 Unicorn

I was offered 8 legs of Venison for ?50 last night. I said it was too dear...