egafd.com

When I go to Blockbuster, I normally choose films by the number of good reviews that show on the box. not the dodgy, made up ones you see like, "The scariest film of the decade" MyHorrorMag, but from mainstream newspapers. Recently this strategy has not been working very well. Last night I rented out 2 complete bags o' shite, both had spectacular reviews and I have put the trailers below.

1/ Melancholia- A film about Earth being ultimately destroyed by the planet Melancholia that strays into its path. Sounds great, until you find the whole thing is about a "troubled" sorry, complete, stinking rich spoilt brat, Kirsten Dunst and the trials and tribulations of her wedding day. Don't be fooled by the amazing graphics at the start! The camera work is done Gonzo style, with no contextual reason, so on their wedding night it's like, "Johnny Camcorder" is in the bedroom with them lol. The only shame is that Melancholia didn't crash onto Earth in the first 5 minutes and kill them all off! If anyone has seen Mr Bean's Holiday, at the end there is a brilliant sequence that parodies a so called, "Arty" film director. Melancholia feels like it was made by that guy.

This got 5 star reviews from every major newspaper!

2/ Resistance- Great idea, basically D Day fails and the Germans occupy the UK. A platoon of German soldiers is marooned in a remote Welsh village and there is some convoluted plot by the Captain to remove himself and his platoon from the war itself, hide in the village and then escape to America. It was set in the bleak winter and the director had decided to leave enormous gaps of silence in the dialogue, with nothing but the howling wind to fill the space. It was fucking miserable and pointless. The Captain and some Welsh bird looking like stone, fall in love and decide to run away. The last shot is the soldier waiting at a table and this daft bird walking up a mountain in a howling storm, muttering something like, "I must go and find him!".........and that's it END, 90 minutes of my life wasted.

This got 5 star reviews from all major newspapers.

My first question is can anyone suggest any good films out at the moment, Lebanon looks interesting and secondly, when does Piranha 3 DD come out on video???

Resistance trailer:


Melancholia trailer:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wzD0U841LRM

Melancholia trailer

Just depends if the producers slipped em a few notes and a complimentary bag of snort

Cynicism aside, the one thing critics love to trash at any given opportunity is the over produced and over funded block buster but stick a foreign title on it, a gay/ lesbian (take your pic) then it always gets a favourable review...Well in truth that does sound kinda interesting beyond the norm but you get my drift.

Critics are frustrated film makers.

If i listened to all the reviews I read about Prometheus I would not have gone but instead it ended up being one of my favourite films this year and I surpise myself by saying this , it even surpassed the original.

Roll on the sequel I say! I take reviews with a pinch of salt. Its nice to read them though but dont get too influenced by them

Lot of good stuff out there at the moment Jim....I am a big fan of
metacritic.com which lists together all the USA reviews of any one film.
For every movie I love there is someone who hates it and vice versa. But
at least by looking at a few of the reviews and perhaps the movie`s
trailer I can judge if it is for me.
"Melancholia" is an art house film ie for intellectuals and not general
entertainment. Also do not be fooled by Michael Fassbender`s new film
"Shame" about a sex addict that is also incredibly windy and dull, also for
the highbrow brigade.
But see "Piranha 2", see" Promethius", see "Chernobyl Diaries"and from
HBO Films just out on dvd is "Too Big To Fail", a nail-biting thriller about
the 5 days in 2008 when the US banking system almost imploded. You might
even have some sympathy for bankers after watching that one !

Do Film critics talk shite? Pretty much, yes.

Sorry, I meant to add that: Good films are in the eye of the beholder. One man's 'Blade Runner' is another man's 'Police Academy 5'!

Being a tight and patient bastard I wait until they come on the box and then I watch em.
I haven't been to a cinema for over 25 years and I have never rented a film and I don't intend to either.
The beauty of cable is that you can flick through and if it dosen't grab you by the throat you can then move on to another prog. Seemples.

Well as you know Frank my tastes in film are quite broad. One of my favourites is "Dr Strangelove," another, "The Lives of Others" yet strangely another is, "Underdog!" I know on occasion you have intimated that you are not partial to dogs with super powers, but I must admit I've watched it a few times, well actually about 6 times! lol

The evil, twisted, dwarf is brilliant, "I'm not insane, I'm a visionary!"

Just a general observation, based on my other job as a music photographer and reviewer.

Do critics talk shite? Well that rather depends on whether you agree with what they say or not. For example, last year I reviewed a gig by Heather Findlay (former singer/songwriter with the prog rock band Mostly Autumn). She'd just brought out her first solo album since leaving MA and played an acoustic version, with just one guitarist, at The Borderline. Having listened to the new album several times beforehand, I was left very disappointed by the acoustic set (as many of the intricate layers of the songs were missing) and said so. A month or so later, in the same venue, she played a similar set but this time with a full band, and I gave her a glowing review.

I gather she didn't appreciate my first review, and nor did some of her most ardent fans. However, I also received feedback from others who had been as equally disappointed as me first time around, and hadn't bothered going to the second gig because of what they'd heard first time around.