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I was watching Danny's plans for the Olympic opening cerenomy and sat their aghast at his representation of "Modern Britain". He has green grass, sheep and cows, grazing whistfully in sunny meadows a "true" and wonderful scene?........Yes, maybe a scene, buried inside the heads of multimillionaires living in Surrey perhaps?

Have Tory Central Office, kidnapped Boyle and subjected him to some kind of brainswashing regime?

I mean, shouldn't the scene actually be Croydon built in scale and the participants be doing a contemporary dance depicting the looting and destruction of shops and peoples' property? Shouldn't hundreds of Chavs decked in Burberry, swing down from ropes all holding flaming torches and set fire to the already smoking debris? Shouldn't 10,000 people on hospital waiting lists, be dressed in bandages and caked with blood, ceremoniously drag their hospital beds in a hideous display of hopelessness and then get set upon my scores of pin-stripe suited Bankers, depicting them brutally robbing the patients of their clothes, money and finally their organs whilst they cackle with laughter?

Finally to a crescendo of "I was glad" by Hubert Parry, should we not witness a , "Dance macabre" by myriads of the unemployed and the dispossessed together with the ripped apart patients, who finally on cue, all lie down to spell out in enormous letters the words, "WELCOME TO TORY BRITAIN!"

"Summer bloody meadows and cows?", don't make me laugh!!wink!

Rod Liddles view yesterday.

"If you like, you can use my alternative plan for the installation ? a vision of Britain as it is NOW. Free of charge.

Right in the centre there will be a vast Romany encampment, surrounded by bailiffs.

The gypsies will perform a moving display of their traditional arts of whittling clothes pegs, punching each other in the head and not quite filling in their income tax returns.

Next to the gypsies will be a giant Tesco superstore, with synchronised halfwits stacking up the trolleys outside.

Throughout the ceremony the store will grow and grow until eventually it covers the entire arena.

One corner will be devoted to Life In A Traditional British Market Town, beginning with a display from council officials and the police trying to stop the whole thing taking place because it contravenes health and safety regulations.

They will enact the historic ceremony known as the ?taking down of the dangerous bunting for insurance reasons?.

Several couples from the county of Essex will perform freestyle sexual intercourse by the bins at the back of the traditional KFC takeaway restaurant.

Outside of a traditional British kebab shop, two Northern people will, movingly, attempt to glass one another in the throat.

Down the High Street will flow a sort of magnificent centrepiece ? a specially created ?River Of Vomit?, comprised of regurgitated lager, half-digested burgers and alcopops.

In another corner, to celebrate our commitment to diversity, there will be a performance of the Jihadi Maniac Pentathlon.

Home-grown British Muslim extremists will run on to the field bearing placards describing the entire audience as ?cockroach infidels?.

They will then try, but fail, to blow themselves up.

A number of MPs will ride into the centre of the arena on elderly horses donated by the Metropolitan Police.

They will be carrying things which you bought for them ? pornographic videos, duck houses and so on.

A specially chosen team from Rochdale or Blackpool will then appear to enact a performance of the Grooming Of The Young White Girls, while the police look on in an uninterested manner.

In a fantastic finale to rival anything the Chinese managed for the Beijing Olympics, 1,000 pupils from Britain?s top state secondary schools will run on to the arena and attempt to write their own names on a piece of paper. They will then run off the pitch and join a ceremonial dole queue.

I dunno, Danny ? I think this could be a runner. And it?ll spare you all that trouble from the animal rights people."

I believe he's taking the piss. This is going to be the most embarrassing opening ceremony ever. I dare not watch it.

Let me guess are the Krankies the top closing act?!rant!

Just let the queen cut a ribbon and set off a few bangers!

I shall avoid like the plague, it looks utter shite and will no doubt be festooned with all the corporate sponsors logos.....

I can't remember the Chinese mocking up massive Shenzhen-style factories with thousands of crippled workers either.

It's called 'promotion'. Do you really expect any nation to spend hundreds of millions of pounds/euros/dollars and not use the opening ceremony to promote themselves and the host country?

What does all this shit have to do with Olympic sport really? apart from making the sponsors money, may as well get Cowell and his team in to judge the events, wor cheryl could mentor Usain bolt, "howay hinney, let wa do a big one the neet"

Sam Slater wrote:

> I can't remember the Chinese mocking up massive Shenzhen-style
> factories with thousands of crippled workers either.
>
Well they bloody well should have and also added a giant swimming pool in the middle of the arena full of poisoned fish!

[img]http://media.treehugger.com/assets/imag ... ob-001.jpg[/img]

Promotion has always been, and forever will be closely entwined with an Americanism we're all familiar with: bullshit.

Nothing can be done I'm afraid.