Daily Mirror-Going down the toilet?
Posted: Wed May 30, 2012 9:05 am
After decades of brown-nosing New Labour, the Daily Mirror (and hopefully that total wanker Tony Parsons) seems to be going down the toilet!
I reckon with both the editors of the Mirror and The Sunday Mirror booted out, there might be an opening for our very own David Johnson as editor? The Mirror lacked a certain amount of razzamatazz and I reckon David Johnson , could zap it up and give New Labour supporters the "Showbiz" appeal, The Mirror so badly needs.
I'd imagine, his first plan of action would be to rename The Mirror, "NEW LABOUR FACT SHEET" and then to entice in the readers, his first front page would read,
"We visit Lord and Lady Prescott in their wonderful home and share their 100 recipes of meals made with corned-beef which is all we have left to eat under Tory cuts!"
"THE SECRET TORIES LIVING ON YOUR ESTATE-HOW TO EXPOSE AND HUMILIATE THEM- TIPS ON COLLECTING DOG POO AND HOW TO PUSH IT THROUGH TORY LETTERBOXES WITH NO MESS OR FUSS!"
"WIN A HOLIDAY FOR 2 IN BOGNOR REGIS WITH THE "NEW LABOUR MULTI-DIVERSITY LESBIAN AND GAY HOPSCOTCH WORKERS COLLECTIVE" ANNUAL WORKSHOP! FREE ENTRY TO FACE PAINTING CLASSES AND PUPPET WORK SHOPS! SPECIAL "HOW TO BEAT A NAUGHTY TORY TO DEATH" TODDLER PLAY GROUP EVENT! (limited places) WATCH YOUR TODDLER WITH PRIDE AS HE TAKES HIS TURN SMASHING AND DISEMBOWLING A DAVID CAMERON DUMMY, WITH A VARIETY OF DANGEROUS WEAPONS. EVERY TODDLER WINS A "NEW LABOUR MANIFESTO" CHILDRENS EDITION!
PAGE 2:
THE GREAT WORKS OF TONY BLAIR, "BRINGER OF PEACE AND HARMONY" TORY LIES EXPOSED!" READ HIS OWN ACCOUNT, "THE TORIES MADE ME DECLARE WAR ON IRAQ, ITS ALL THEIR FAULT! CAN'T YOU SEE, I'M A NICE GUY, NOT A BABY KILLER!"
HOW TO ALWAYS HAVE THE LAST WORD IN A POLITICAL DISCUSSION-SEND OFF FOR OUR FREE BASEBALL BAT!
WHY NOT HAVE HOURS OF FUN AND ENDLESS CHORTLING BY SNEAKING UP BEHIND THAT BLOKE WEARING A SUIT (RATHER THAN A FLAT CAP AND DONKET JACKET) AND SNEAKILY STICK OUR, "I'M A DAILY MAIL READER" STICKER ON HIS BACK! ONLY ?10 FOR 1000 INC P&P!!!!
PAGE 3:
MEET GRISELDA OUR PAGE 3 "RATHER NICE CEREBRAL MEMBER OF THE FEMALE GENDER". "GRISELDA IS A KEEN LESBIAN, VEGETARIAN AND RAMBLER. SHE LIKES TO MAKE ALL HER CLOTHES FROM HESSIAN AND SACK CLOTH FOUND FROM SUSTAINABLE SOURCES. GRISELDA HAS ENGAGED IN VARIOUS FEMINIST ACTIVITIES AND WORKSHOPS INCLUDING THE ACCLAIMED, "ALL MEN, BOYS AND MALE TODDLERS ARE RAPISTS AND THOSE WHO ARE NOT ARE JUST PLANNING FOR IT!"
[img]http://images.uglypeopleunite.com/files ... te-116.jpg[/img]
PAGE 4:
JOIN OUR CAMPAIGN TO HAVE ALL TORIES ROUNDED UP AND EXTERMINATED AND THEIR PROPERTY CONFISCATED AND REDISTRIBUTED TO NEEDY NEW LABOUR SUPPORTERS!
Don't take offence, just a bit of fun while I wait for my computer to render a long programme!!wink!
I reckon with both the editors of the Mirror and The Sunday Mirror booted out, there might be an opening for our very own David Johnson as editor? The Mirror lacked a certain amount of razzamatazz and I reckon David Johnson , could zap it up and give New Labour supporters the "Showbiz" appeal, The Mirror so badly needs.
I'd imagine, his first plan of action would be to rename The Mirror, "NEW LABOUR FACT SHEET" and then to entice in the readers, his first front page would read,
"We visit Lord and Lady Prescott in their wonderful home and share their 100 recipes of meals made with corned-beef which is all we have left to eat under Tory cuts!"
"THE SECRET TORIES LIVING ON YOUR ESTATE-HOW TO EXPOSE AND HUMILIATE THEM- TIPS ON COLLECTING DOG POO AND HOW TO PUSH IT THROUGH TORY LETTERBOXES WITH NO MESS OR FUSS!"
"WIN A HOLIDAY FOR 2 IN BOGNOR REGIS WITH THE "NEW LABOUR MULTI-DIVERSITY LESBIAN AND GAY HOPSCOTCH WORKERS COLLECTIVE" ANNUAL WORKSHOP! FREE ENTRY TO FACE PAINTING CLASSES AND PUPPET WORK SHOPS! SPECIAL "HOW TO BEAT A NAUGHTY TORY TO DEATH" TODDLER PLAY GROUP EVENT! (limited places) WATCH YOUR TODDLER WITH PRIDE AS HE TAKES HIS TURN SMASHING AND DISEMBOWLING A DAVID CAMERON DUMMY, WITH A VARIETY OF DANGEROUS WEAPONS. EVERY TODDLER WINS A "NEW LABOUR MANIFESTO" CHILDRENS EDITION!
PAGE 2:
THE GREAT WORKS OF TONY BLAIR, "BRINGER OF PEACE AND HARMONY" TORY LIES EXPOSED!" READ HIS OWN ACCOUNT, "THE TORIES MADE ME DECLARE WAR ON IRAQ, ITS ALL THEIR FAULT! CAN'T YOU SEE, I'M A NICE GUY, NOT A BABY KILLER!"
HOW TO ALWAYS HAVE THE LAST WORD IN A POLITICAL DISCUSSION-SEND OFF FOR OUR FREE BASEBALL BAT!
WHY NOT HAVE HOURS OF FUN AND ENDLESS CHORTLING BY SNEAKING UP BEHIND THAT BLOKE WEARING A SUIT (RATHER THAN A FLAT CAP AND DONKET JACKET) AND SNEAKILY STICK OUR, "I'M A DAILY MAIL READER" STICKER ON HIS BACK! ONLY ?10 FOR 1000 INC P&P!!!!
PAGE 3:
MEET GRISELDA OUR PAGE 3 "RATHER NICE CEREBRAL MEMBER OF THE FEMALE GENDER". "GRISELDA IS A KEEN LESBIAN, VEGETARIAN AND RAMBLER. SHE LIKES TO MAKE ALL HER CLOTHES FROM HESSIAN AND SACK CLOTH FOUND FROM SUSTAINABLE SOURCES. GRISELDA HAS ENGAGED IN VARIOUS FEMINIST ACTIVITIES AND WORKSHOPS INCLUDING THE ACCLAIMED, "ALL MEN, BOYS AND MALE TODDLERS ARE RAPISTS AND THOSE WHO ARE NOT ARE JUST PLANNING FOR IT!"
[img]http://images.uglypeopleunite.com/files ... te-116.jpg[/img]
PAGE 4:
JOIN OUR CAMPAIGN TO HAVE ALL TORIES ROUNDED UP AND EXTERMINATED AND THEIR PROPERTY CONFISCATED AND REDISTRIBUTED TO NEEDY NEW LABOUR SUPPORTERS!
Don't take offence, just a bit of fun while I wait for my computer to render a long programme!!wink!