egafd.com

Apparently Chris Huhne has been well impressed by Harry Redknapp's barrister and the way in which he helped Arry avoid an apparent bang to rights tax evasion rap. He has hired him for his perjury case over his wife taking speeding points for him.

I think we can expect some or all the following arguments to be used:

Prosecutor
"I put it to you, Mr Huhne, that you were in the car on the evening in question"

Huhne "Leave it out. Most of my family will tell you I can't remember what I was doing yesterday, never mind years ago. Totally disorganised I am."

Prosecutor
"And the car in question was your car which was shown to have been captured on camera"

Huhne "My car? I can't tell the difference between a car and a taxi, never mind if it was my car. All I know about is politics ever since I was a lad"

Prosecutor
"And what about the tape of the telephone conversation with your ex-wife where you suggest that your ex-wife just needs to deny all knowledge".

Huhne
"I was just winding up the ex-missus, as ya do. I don't have to tell the truth to the ex-missus, but I always tell the truth to the police".

Etc, etc, etc.

He could always claim his dog was driving.

Harry Redknapp?s dog has described her five year sentence for tax evasion as ?feeling like I?ve had my nose rubbed in it?.

Reclusive bone-fan Rosie was found guilty of having an undeclared bank account in Monaco, but maintains her innocence.

?I?m not the most financially astute dumb animal?, claimed Rosie. ?You could say I have no concept of money. Normally when my owner gives me a cheque for ?180,000, I tear it to pieces or bury it in the garden.

?I have no idea how this one slipped through my paws and ended up in a tax-efficient savings account.

?Also, a five stretch is a very harsh sentence if you convert it into dog years.?

Harry Redknapp has distanced himself from his former pet, claiming her behaviour is a bad influence on him.

?First she craps in my slippers, then she tries to defraud Her Majesty?s Revenue and Customs officers?, declared Redknapp. ?I?ve a good mind to sell her to Wigan?.

Passing sentence on the greedy bitch, Justice Timmins said he had no choice but to lock her up, in case she tried appealing to the upper chamber with her big, brown eyes.

?Bad doggy?, declared Timmins. ?Baaad, baaad doggy.?

Rosie asked for two other cases of rolling in fox shit to be taken into consideration.