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What does the panel think of our wonderful, "Man of the people", "Lubbly jubbly", "Pukka tukka" Cockney hero?

I went into his restaurant in Guildford called Jamie's Italian. I'll tell you what I had and you can decide if this guy is a pretentious greedy Mockney wanker or a decent, run of the mill sort of guy.

I started with olives for a snack. 6 olives arrived arranged in a circle on a silver container laden with crushed ice.In the middle of said container was a little container with sun dried tomatoes in it. Out of this arrangement stood giant shards of what looked like pappadoms. Do not ask how much this dish cost! I then had squid. This arrived also in a spectacular dish, but in fact the squid tasted and chewed like those rubbers you used to have at school.

For main I had grilled chicken, which was two fillets, well, of grilled chicken which were plonked on some chopped tomatoes and basil. The piece de resistance was a side dish of "Posh chips", this was a little bucket of 6 chips wrapped in newspaper with some Parmesan cheese grated on them, price? ?3.50!

Total price for one, with water, as I don't drink, ?32.50 excluding service. Cost price of 6 olives, a tablespoon of squid, 2 thin chicken fillets, half a potatoe and a glass of water? I'd say around ?3.00.

What makes me laugh is that I thought he was supposed to be the loveable East End barrow boy, who hated "Pretentious" cooking.

?3.50 for 6 chips? "Yer 'avin a laugh me 'old Sparra!"

He dosent cook half the stuff he goes to Tescos or Sainsburys buys it all its all bluff too

Quality ingredients purchased wholesale are, per se, er cheap as chips.

But the cost of leasing a quality site, a 'considered' refurb etc etc is eye-wateringly expensive.

A restaurant where I recently dined with Mrs P (in SW1) claimed to have expended ?400K on air - con and ventilation alone!

He is a Twunt. Self righteous and way overrated as a chef.

Jimbo, you have only yourself to blame I am afraid.
Anyone who goes into any of these type of eateries is in for a wallet emptying experience and will leave as hungry as they entered. This pretentious twatt has a place in Brighton which always seems to be full of idiots. Having been brought up un Brighton I know where not to go and his gaff is just one of them. Give me a curry house or Chinese any day, they are at least what they seem and one gets a good deal for their money.
Oliver and Ramsey et al can go and fuck them selves as far as I am concerned as they will never get one penny of my hard earned dosh.

First time I have come across the term "twunt" Arginald. I rather like it.
As to you Jim, I am aghast that you get ripped off by this utterly
pretentious TV chef. But my dear, you only have yourself to blame. Most
of the new generation of chefs are pretentious...er, twunts !!
Give me good ole British fish `n chips anytime. And if you want to make some
money Mr Dave Wells, then give up the porn and the pub and open a fish n
chip shop in Budapest. I would be a customer every nite. Then whats wrong
with a good curry (for those that like it), another straightforward kinda dish.
Personally I think Jim we should have some cards printed which we could
show as we entered a restaurant saying, "Look mate, I am expecting a
decent sized wedge of well-cooked grub in this establishment at a fair price.
If you serve pretentious nosh or nouvelle small portions cuisine at daft
prices then you can stick it up yer bum !"

I plead guilty as charged folks. I fell for the loveable Cockney scamp, with his "Pukka tukka" and other Cockney witticisms. How could he have turned his back on us? I have decided that he only allows you to have 6 chips for ?3.50 in order to stop you getting fat, NOT because he's a greedy tosser!

Anyway just to remind you all what a REAL Cockney is like, (Jamie take note!)