New Jobs announced
Posted: Sat Jan 22, 2011 7:53 am
I've just got off the blower from the Prime Minister's office and there are two new jobs available at Westminster.
Job No. 1
Eton-educated, Oxford graduate who really enjoyed wandering round Oxford smashing up restaurants and pubs with aristocratic Bullingdon club and is now a millionaire entirely due to his father's efforts requires Communications Director.
Key requirement for the job is that the Director must have a deep understanding of oiks and chavs who read papers like the Sun. Must be able to describe who they are, what they want etc so that potential employer can lie to them effectively.
Job No. 2
St. Pauls school educated, Oxford graduate who really enjoyed wandering round Oxford smashing up restaurants and pubs with aristocratic Bullingdon club and is now a millionaire entirely due to his father's efforts, requires Economics Tutor.
Key requirement for the job is to provide a crash course in economics. Youth unemployment has hit an all-time high. December sales in the High Street were the worst ever. The biggest jump in the consumer price index recently recorded. Sluggish growth in the economy.
Must be able to provide ideas so that horrid Shadow Chancellor who is energetic, aggressive, smart and knows lots about economics doesn't make me cry for Daddy.
Cheers
D
Job No. 1
Eton-educated, Oxford graduate who really enjoyed wandering round Oxford smashing up restaurants and pubs with aristocratic Bullingdon club and is now a millionaire entirely due to his father's efforts requires Communications Director.
Key requirement for the job is that the Director must have a deep understanding of oiks and chavs who read papers like the Sun. Must be able to describe who they are, what they want etc so that potential employer can lie to them effectively.
Job No. 2
St. Pauls school educated, Oxford graduate who really enjoyed wandering round Oxford smashing up restaurants and pubs with aristocratic Bullingdon club and is now a millionaire entirely due to his father's efforts, requires Economics Tutor.
Key requirement for the job is to provide a crash course in economics. Youth unemployment has hit an all-time high. December sales in the High Street were the worst ever. The biggest jump in the consumer price index recently recorded. Sluggish growth in the economy.
Must be able to provide ideas so that horrid Shadow Chancellor who is energetic, aggressive, smart and knows lots about economics doesn't make me cry for Daddy.
Cheers
D