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New Jobs announced

Posted: Sat Jan 22, 2011 7:53 am
by David Johnson
I've just got off the blower from the Prime Minister's office and there are two new jobs available at Westminster.

Job No. 1

Eton-educated, Oxford graduate who really enjoyed wandering round Oxford smashing up restaurants and pubs with aristocratic Bullingdon club and is now a millionaire entirely due to his father's efforts requires Communications Director.

Key requirement for the job is that the Director must have a deep understanding of oiks and chavs who read papers like the Sun. Must be able to describe who they are, what they want etc so that potential employer can lie to them effectively.

Job No. 2

St. Pauls school educated, Oxford graduate who really enjoyed wandering round Oxford smashing up restaurants and pubs with aristocratic Bullingdon club and is now a millionaire entirely due to his father's efforts, requires Economics Tutor.

Key requirement for the job is to provide a crash course in economics. Youth unemployment has hit an all-time high. December sales in the High Street were the worst ever. The biggest jump in the consumer price index recently recorded. Sluggish growth in the economy.

Must be able to provide ideas so that horrid Shadow Chancellor who is energetic, aggressive, smart and knows lots about economics doesn't make me cry for Daddy.


Cheers
D

Extra requirement

Posted: Sat Jan 22, 2011 9:13 am
by David Johnson
Cameron's added a couple of extra requirements for the Communications Director.

Must be able to convince thickos that everything that goes wrong is down to the Labour government.

Must be able to convince thickos that the word "global" as in the global recession, means "Gordon Brown"

Cheers
D

Re: New Jobs announced

Posted: Sat Jan 22, 2011 12:31 pm
by Dave Wells
Damn, Shit, Piss, counts me out then !


Re: New Jobs announced

Posted: Sat Jan 22, 2011 2:07 pm
by Dick Moby
Keep taking the tablets David.
There's a good lad.

Re: New Jobs announced

Posted: Sat Jan 22, 2011 2:26 pm
by Arginald Valleywater
You have a completely balanced personality DJ, a chip on each shoulder. Of course Mr Blair and Mr Darling didn't attend Fettes and Lorretto, two of Scotland's most elite and expensive public schools did they?? In your bleak world having an affluent, succesful family is obviously a heinous crime.

Arginald

Posted: Sat Jan 22, 2011 2:51 pm
by David Johnson
Chip on my shoulder?

Do you not even read your own posts?

http://bgafd.co.uk/forum/read.php?f=3&i=241368&t=241363

So let's summarise. Its okay for you to attack Balls for what you think his family have forked out for in terms of a Harvard education. By the way I put you right here

http://bgafd.co.uk/forum/read.php?f=3&i=241463&t=241363

but any criticism of the Tories is because I have a chip on my shoulder.

Err right!

!wink!

D

Re: New Jobs announced

Posted: Sat Jan 22, 2011 2:52 pm
by David Johnson
Another outstanding contribution to the forum. You are beginning to show real promise.

Next time, try to string a long sentence together.

Cheers
D

PH

Posted: Sat Jan 22, 2011 2:54 pm
by David Johnson
Could you perhaps turn your duff psychology onto someone who is always going on about

"my nice house, nice businesses, my nice car, my nice few bob in the bank"

You may be more successful when analysing yourself.

!wink!

Cheers
D

Re: New Jobs announced

Posted: Sat Jan 22, 2011 3:00 pm
by Dick Moby
I waste enough time reading your bullshit,why spend more?