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Hi all

Im a 23yr old male, happy with my day job from a decent working class family with a girlfirend who I do love and am happy with.

However I just wanted your thoughts on this, I jack off two or three times a night, can spend a good couple of hours watching porn, trying to get into movies, or looking up escorts does this sound too much?. It not affecting my social/work life its just hobbie/lifestyle choice for me

Also I have a decent sex life with my g/f its just I love the idea of sleeping with an escort or being part of a gangbang or even in a movie, in fact its more than an idea I would do it. My girlfriend doesnt know about my "hobbie" or intentions, she wouldnt agree, neither would my family, but im on the verge of making a booking with an escort? do you think this is a good idea? I wouldnt see it as cheating on my g/f as there would be no feelings involved just sex, trying new things that she wont, and I think it would make our relationship better, what do you guys think

sorry to go all dear deadrie but just wanted some unbias oppinons

Hi Jamie.
Try this:

Go out for a walk, alone in the dark. Imagine that everything you care about has gone; girlfriend, family, friends and that you, alone in the cold, dark night is - in fact - reality.
Messing with the feelings of those you care about is always self-destructive in the end.
I'm lucky because my family and friends don't give a damn what I do and my girlfriend is in porn anyway. I have built a lifestyle that allows me to do what I want pretty much so there's no dark, lonely night for me. You, on the other hand seem to have something to lose and my honest advice is not to risk hurting and therefore possibly losing what you do have.

Maybe the talk of lonely walks in the night will not do it for you - maybe you'd be better off sitting in a room on your own. Whatever brings the reality of disappointing and losing your own support-group home to you is what you need right now.

As far as the porn is concerned I would say reign it in a little. Not for your own sake because what a man does with his 'personal friend' is no business of anyone else's and I think that in 21st century Britain people (girlfriends included) are beginning to accept that. Let's face it - girls can buy vibrators all day long now and brag about it... and they're not for decoration are they? The insult 'wanker' doesn't have the same potency that it used to do and porn is just how men get off right?
But using escorts when you have a warm body at home that you seem to like and have feelings for, or getting into gang-bangs out of curiosity is an accident waiting to happen.

Finally. If these are things you really need then bring the subject up with your girlfriend and find out where she stands on the swinging scene. Maybe she'd be up for it after all? Introduce it as part of a fantasy during sex and if she gets turned on by it then she has nowhere to hide from this fact. Maybe you can patiently keep using this as a fantasy theme during sex, whispering naughty things into her ear at appropriate moments and reinforcing the idea of experimenting.

Doing this patiently (and I know how hard it is for you young guys to be patient) may return dividends. You may end up with a right little raver on your hands that want's to go dogging, swinging and film you getting banged to death by the female cast of Hollyoaks!

I know that it works because that's how, 15 years ago, a woman 'turned' me!
Suggestively, provocatively, patiently - until I was desperate to see her fantasies lived out... because they were now mine too.

If all goes wrong, at least you were straight-up with her and you'll know what to look for next time.

All the best,
UD.