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Forgive me if there has been a thread about this before. My two nominations for the worst song lyrics ever are either:

1. From "Is there something I should know" by Duran Duran (1983) which includes the line "Dont say you're easy on me cos your about as easy as a nuclear war". Even all these years later magazine articles still regularly refer to this as the worst song lyric of all time.

or

2. From "Cant be seen" by The Rolling Stones (1989) which includes the line "I could never sleep with you cos I'd always be awake". This was on their comeback album 'Steel Wheels' and is "sung" by Keith Richards (who even other members of the band say can not sing - let alone write lyrics!).

Two real hum-dingers there! What do people think about those two as nominations, or alternatively what would yours be?

Last night, I heard my mama singing a song
Ooh-We, Chirpy, Chirpy, Cheep, Cheep.
Woke up this morning and my mama was gone
Ooh-We, Chirpy, Chirpy, Cheep, Cheep
Chirpy, Chirpy, Cheep, Cheep, Chirp.

Middle Of The Road, 1971.


'nuff said?

A close second:

"Reggae, Reggae, Reggae.
Here comes Johnny Reggae.
Johnny Reggae Reggae lay it on me."

The Piglets (featuring Pat Coombs - Beggar My Neighbour, On The Buses etc) 1971.


1971 was a bad (good?) year for this sort of thing.

"She asked me my name, I told her what it was" Razorlight- Somewhere Else

That song from Joseph

I closed my eyes
Drew back the curtain
To see for certain....

Surely it would be better to open your eyes if you wanted to see something for certain?


The Darkness "A one way ticket to hell and back" (I realise they probably meant this)

And the classic "I don't want to see the ghost/Rather have a piece of toast" Don't know or care who did it.

"I drive a Rolls Royce cos it's good for my voice" - T.Rex, 'Children of the Revolution'.

The Piglets is such an awful name for a band that it wouldn't matter how bad the lyrics to the songs were, people wouldn't see past the name!

Im sure the reason for those dreadful lyrics back in the 70s was because of being on the tail end of all that peace and love movement, LSD and mushrooms...

A case of it was a good idea at the time.

Its weird but I heard that chirpy chirpy cheep cheep song the other day and was thinking of stabbing someone in the eye with a fork. Then the song stopped and all was peaceful again.

one eyed jack wrote:

> Its weird but I heard that chirpy chirpy cheep cheep song the
> other day and was thinking of stabbing someone in the eye with
> a fork. Then the song stopped and all was peaceful again.


Many eyes were thus lost in the 1970s, Terry.

This is a strong contender too:

Come on now honey you know you really turn me on
Come on now honey you know you really turn me on
And when and when you do
uh huh huh huh uh uh That`s my song

Come on now baby, come on and do the jerk with me
Come on now honey, come on and do the jerk with me
And if and if you do
uh huh huh huh uh uh That`s my song

(Ian Whitcomb, 1965)

If only because of the attempt to show how clever he is with a Lolita reference, but also because it barely scans and doesnt really rhyme either, from "Don't Stand so close to me" by the Police

"He starts to shake, he starts to cough
just like the old man in that famous book by Nabakov"