Football and vaginas

[Sam Slater]

I've never had pie & peas -with gravy- half way through sex though. Should I try? !love!

[eroticartist]

Football is symbolic warfare: you have two opposing factions trying to defeat each other. You shoot at the enemy target, the goal and struggle with your opponents to win the battle/game.
Mike.

[shock the monkey]

Actually that is a good analogy but seeing as football is one big gay bar rather than the vagina, shouldn't the goal be emblematic of the arsehole. The goal keeper represents the forces of conservatism trying to stop the bummers from having their fun.

[Sam Slater]

Whatever turns you on buddy !oops!

[Guilbert]

If football is a substitute for sex...

Is watching Match of the day on your own late at night a substitute for having a wank?

[shock the monkey]

Well, they all shower together after the game. When they score a goal they jump on top of each other (whatever happened to a manly handshake and a hearty well done?). Plus if the tabloids are to be believed they enjoy group sex, which involves multiple guys doing one girl. You know they're checking each other out while they're nailing her.

[dynatech]

If this analogy is correct, then given the team vs team nature of the sport, it must be a case of team A trying to fuck Team B's missus and vice-versa and both teams pulling out the stops to prevent their bird being knocked-up by their rival!