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Why are men happier?

Posted: Tue Aug 08, 2006 2:03 pm
by NeilUK
Why Are Men Happier?

Men Are Just Happier People

What do you expect from such simple creatures?

Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack.

You can never be pregnant.

You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.

You can wear NO shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

The world is your urinal.

You never have to drive to another petrol station toilet because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

Same work, more pay.

Wrinkles add character.

Wedding dress ?2000. Tux rental-?100.

People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

You know stuff about tanks.

A five-day holiday requires only one suitcase.

You can open all your own jars.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is ?4.95 for a three-pack.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

You almost never have strap problems in public.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

Everything on your face stays its original colour.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life.

One wallet and one pair of shoes one colour for all seasons.

You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.

You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25
minutes.

No wonder men are happier.


Re: Why are men happier?

Posted: Tue Aug 08, 2006 4:03 pm
by Marino
I'm just happy cos I have a cock.


Re: Why are men happier?

Posted: Wed Aug 16, 2006 8:08 pm
by c.j.jaxxon
FUNNY!!laugh!

Re: Why are men happier?

Posted: Wed Aug 16, 2006 11:06 pm
by Snake Diamond
!laugh! !laugh! !laugh! !laugh! !laugh! !laugh!

Absolutely fucking hilarious !grin!


Re: Why are men happier?

Posted: Thu Aug 17, 2006 4:31 am
by strictlybroadband
Bigoldowl wrote:

> Don't need a mobile phone.

Have to pull you up on this one... a mobile's a pretty important getting laid accessory.


Re: Why are men happier?

Posted: Thu Aug 17, 2006 6:44 am
by P-Nix
Bigoldowl wrote:

> Food shopping only takes 10 minutes a week.
>
> Clothes shopping only takes 10 minutes a year.
>
> At weddings, if your wearing the same outfit as another man,
> you think you've got it about right.
>
> Don't care if food has fallen on to the floor - waste not want
> not.
>
> You only need one plate, one knife, one fork, one saucepan.
>
> Never get ill.
>
> Take a bath and do your laundry at the same time - by doing
> this you're saving the earth's vital resources.
>
> Don't have all those fancy extras for mobile phones.
>
> Don't need a mobile phone.
>
> Mates never pass comment on your body size.
>
> Beer-bellies give you character and make you the source of
> conversations - this boosts your confidence.
>
> You can act a total prat in public and convince yourself that
> you've acted in a sophisticated way.
>



You keep telling yourself that Bigoldowl, you'll be ok.