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Did you see Crouch? Shiver. He just made it to number one.

Second on my list is Robbie Keane's 'Nine-year-old doing a rolly-polly morphing into Ninja twat shooting arrows.' Interestingly, since he stopped doing this he's become a better player. Are they linked?

To be fair to Crouch, unlike most forwards he doesn't get many opportunities to practice goal celebrations, so they're bound to be crap! !grin!

Why doesn't Crouch perform a goal celebration based on a popular Japanese celebration called "Hari-Kiri" with the corner flag pole?

That would be a good one.............

.................big, useless donkey twat.

love or hate the bean pole he took that goal well last night in my eyes..........

To be fair, in his last 2 England appearances he's shown some good touch'es, has held the ball up well without conceding possession, and scored twice. Very mature performances in my opinion!

Some people are really hard to please aren't they? !tut!

Hard to please?

No, Scottish.

We're shite and we know we are; it's a pity Ingerlund don't.

I'll cheer you all the way to the quarter-finals though, as a gesture of anglo-scots goodwill.

!whistle!

That he did.

He is to England what Jan Koller was to the Czechs- a top target man. For a big ungainly guy, he does actually possess good touch and technique and hence, for his particular role, he is one of the best players around.

Casting my barb above aside, I have no issue with the big guy- he gets a bad press, unfairly IMO as he always puts in a decent shift. But!! Even I, as a Scot, cannot understand why far more versatile, experienced and lethal strikers such as Defoe and Andy Johnson get overlooked in favour of Crouch and creche-boy Walcott.

Conspiracy theory 1 (we all love 'em): Sven's leaving, the FA are not prepared to pay over the odds to keep him on. Is he trying to screw England over as a farewell 'fuck-you'?

Conspiracy Theory 2: Is Rooney's injury as bad as first made out, a sham? As other countries in England's group prepare for the games, are they preparing for England minus Rooney, only for Wayne to actually play and do them over? Is Rooney's injury, and the fact that he is in the squad to substantiate this, a massive mind-game?

Consp. Theory 3: man didn't land on the moon.............. !wink!

So, a wee apology to you and Sam................ no, he's not as bad as I suggest- but I feel there are bettter strikers that can make the squad. World-class defenders will stifle him, IMHO.

That's all.

What was Crouch's celebration about? He's a worse dancer than David Brent ! When C4 covered Italian football it was a joy to watch Gabriel 'Batigol' Batistuta's exuberant celebrations, one of which was powerchords on an electric guitar. I quite like the nonchalant celebrations too - player scores a great goal and reacts like 'Special? I do it every day in training!'

I agree though, Crouch is going to take some beating.

must admit, I like the big fella, he's a lot better player then ppl give him credit for, i'll be shouting for him in Germany (probably from outside the stadium though grrrr)