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Well here I am, once again at that time of month where I need to vent my spleen.
I thought long & hard about this. Perhaps all of 3 seconds.
The inner struggle/fight/antipathy between the good and bad of this post was helped along by someone who thinks I'm an attention whore and scum and will therefore remain nameless...CATE ARCHER I'M TALKING ABOUT YOU, or Dwayne Man-Tits as I like to whisper in your furry oblique ear as we indulge in sweaty man love.

Now I may be accused of many things but you have no CCTV proof so bollocks.

Anyway, the rant of the day rests upon the skinny, weedy, spotty and rather oily shoulders of teenagers.

I hate teenagers.

It's as simple as that.

Sucky little bitch whiners.

They kinda go hand in hand with the EMO/Goth fucks in the sense that they proclaim a crippling social inadequacy.

Given half a chance, I'd turn them into crippled social deliquents.

Just me, myself and cricket bat to the kneecaps.

You want a book of stupid responses? Find a teenager and ask them anything you like. Gauranteed the little puppyfucks will come out with a clueless classic.
This I swear I heard at the start of Gulf Massacre 2.
"Saddam 'Usein?...don' 'e play for Chelsea?"....thick cunt.

You know what I really hate? It's the way they have raped the English language and littered it with "text" talk.

so u c i am nt 2 hppy wiv t3n8grs.

WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SHIT ABOUT YOU CRETINOUS SLACK JAWED BASTARDS.

To think, your parents could have been doing something so much more interesting in those 2 minutes it took to conceive your retarded shit for brains self, like watching the epilogue of Streets of San Francisco or catching Starsky & Hutch and finding out what "The word on the street" was according to Huggy Bear.

What has fuelled this latest tourettic outburst?

Simple, much like it's original target. A whiney little sap wanting to know why he can't score with chicks.

BECAUSE YOU SUCK LOSER BOY - SUCK
...clear enough?
Let's ignore the fact that you can't string a sentence together without feeling the need to elucidate why the fuck Linkin Park rock over Limp Biskit in monosylabic text talk..."cos like....yeah...they rock......k...."

Ok so it's not just him, but the whole torrent of relentless fucking shite that teenagers come out with as if they are the first, last & only person to ever have had a crisis.

"Oh my girlfriend has dumped me and now I will never be able to love again. I'll sit here in my room listening to The Cure & Linkin Park as they are the only ones who understand my pain. I'll wear some black and practice looking moody."
Fucking tool.

I don't give a fuck. Really, I don't.

You really think I give a shit if you can't get laid? Do you care if I can't get a 3some going? No, so fuck off. Go have a wank or buy a blow up doll or some shit.

Now I'm pretty sure there are a few skinny little teenage bastards on here that jack off everytime they see Sandie Caines name come up...no, no, wait, that's me. Whatever.
Little bastards that refer to a nude picture as a "dirty picture" and then feel the need to grin an uneven toothy show of retardedness.

Girls - you can fuck right off as well.

The advent of the internet has given you a brainless audience that will lap up your whining voice in abundance along with your camwhore techniques.
I know men are guillable but please do you really have to skank them for every penny they've got?

I love the way you'll give it "Hey, I'm bi"....No honey, no. Strictly speaking, you're asexual and nothing else.

Girl's Bitching, "Oh I want to get laid before I'm 18" - and to think, the Sufragettes fought for little plastic faced shit fucks like you.

Make the sisterhood proud for fucks sake.

You're not special, nor are you gifted. You're a whiney, spotty, petulant, going-thru-puberty, workshy, sponging off your parents cockroach.

A teenager came over to me last week and said "Why don't people like me?"

So I punched the little fuck in the head, swept his legs away and stamped on his hip and asked if that answered his little crippling question.

A little message to any teenager that has the balls to sit thru this.

This message is just for you and feel free to share it.

Ready?

Ok, here goes.

You know what you're going thru?

IT'S A FUCKING PHASE

Now please, kindly fuck off and keep your mouth shut.
Sorry, sorry, my apology. What I meant to say was...

PHUX 0FF L0ZR R3T4RD


And before anyone called CATE ARCHER decides to regale me with the deranged mantra of "Oh so I suppose you was a perfect teenager?"
YES, YES I WAS OK? THERE NOW WHAT YOU GONNA SAY?


Kids these days are little fat fucks with their podgy sausage like fingers permenantly stuck in an industrial sized bag of Cheese & Onion crisps who then have the fucking nerve to bitch about getting fat as if it was Mr Walker himself who rammed the contents of a crisp vat down their fat, bovine throats.
Then there are the fucking retarded shit for brain peasant council chav cunts who at 19 (still teens) sit on their fat lazy bovine arseholes watching daytime TV, gathering weight and then bitching about "I don' 'av time ta go t' the gym cos ahm runnin' raan the little un's all day."

YES LOVE, YES, I CAN WELL SEE AT THE NEXT OLYMPICS "FAT BOVINE FUCK RUNNING" WHERE YOU WADDLE AFTER A 6 MONTH OLD CHILD THAT STILL BEATS YOUR FAT, NASTY, QUANTUM ARSEHOLE.

Teens....want to know what fucks me off even more?
Grown men that have a thing for teeny girls.
Now I have to be careful as the Mods that be may think I'm trying to alienate an entire group of forumites but please for fucks sake people, why the fuck do grown men need to see scantily clad teenies in school girl uniforms. Perhaps nobody has mentioned this but that's borderline paedophilia for fucks sake!
BARELY LEGAL! GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE.


Anyway, teenagers and all things associated fuck me off.


I'm off to throw old people into the freezer chests in Beejams.
Cryogenics the MacGroyn way.


Cate could you please email me some home made porn with you & a cucumber?

What u r experiencing is teenage angst Holden, were you locked in the fridge as a child?, or perhaps you had to tie a pork chop to your face just so a puppy would lick you! Dont worry, this will pass, we have all been there, Could you do an outburst on large ladies, who claim big is beautiful....'ITS FUCKING NOT'...it,s just overtime with a knife and fork......."I dont care what people say" " I love bieng a size 28", people can love me for what I am (yeah right) FAT!.....Mr Mc Donalds best friend....
Make us a cuppa would you Holden dear!

While I am too lazy to read all of what you wrote, I can say that I get a bit pissed off with the attitude of some work experience kids who think we should let them play with squillion dollar equipment because they know everything.

The idea of having to do such degrading chores as photocopying and making tea in exchange for us giving up scarce time to show them how everything works, is beyond their powers of understanding. And none of them want to do ichy jobs where you might have to actually do manual work - no, they want to sit in a fucking penthouse suite office and talk big business deals like they've seen on TV. Half of them couldn't hold down a job as a burger flipper anyway.

Especially annoying is the way some of those pimply faced boys have the most sex-u-liscious girlfriends. Bastards !

Teenagers are, and always have been, obnoxious. Goth culture has always existed. The texting business should be discouraged, though. I suggest a small rock hammer to break all fingers---that'd put an end to it.

Yeah but then they'd bitch that their career as a rock guitarist was cut short.
Fucking spineless morons.

Hmmmmmm sooooooooooo many sweeping generalisations BUT the underlying message is very true.

I dont care what anyone says being fat is not fun and its not sexy (although it doesnt necessarily make someone ugly) but most importantly ask any fat person not in denial and they will agree that they would rather be smaller - they may not want to be stick thin but they certainly would like to be smaller.

Obesity has many many major physical and mental impacts on a persons life and it restricts your quality of life in so many ways that "normal" people just take for granted. Ultimately people judge other people on what they see - thats maybe not how it should be but thats how it is and anyone who claims otherwise is either a liar or very naive. For example, on the dating scene it doesnt matter how nice a guy is and how nice his personality is etc etc because if the person he is approaching looks at him and decides they dont want to know then he has lost already and his personailty is worth jack shit.

Human beings are shallow - its not something restricted to one particular sex but in my experiece women are a lot more shallow than men which makes my life such fun. Now I know that fat women will tell me Im talking crap and that men are just as bad or worse but to prove my point next time you are walking through a shopping centre or town centre have a look around and see how many big girls u see with normal sized blokes and now have a look around and see how many big guys u see with normal sized girls - anyone see a slight imbalance?

Jay

That is going to be the very natureof my next rant which I have written already and am saving for a rainy day.
Gold digging women,


Anyway, I know I generalize, but 2 things;
1) I credit my readers with intelligence
2) I couldn't give a fuck

I actually meant that some of Lizards comments were generalisations - I got about half way through your original post and it all got too much for me so I gave up lol

Jay

We all do Jay!

In that case, Liz you ignorant fuck.
How dare you generalize you cruel sick bastard.