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I mean the feeling that there must be more to life than just this?

I don?t mean in a morbid or depressed way but in a 3:00 AM and can?t sleep kind-a way, although if you do think about it to much it can result in a depressing outcome or it can go the other way and induce strong feelings of euphoria, the sense that you have somehow come that little bit closer to working it all out?

It just seems to hit you, in waves, some stronger than others and then just as quick as it came?. It?s gone and you can?t really remember what you were trying to think so hard about and then it comes back again like another big wave hitting you right in the face..

I think a lot of it has to do with what music you are listing to at the time myself. Right now I?m listing to the soundtrack from the film Heat sitting at my desk at home in London, hoping beyond hope that tomorrow will be different.

That tomorrow I will still remember the way I am feeling now, that if I really do want to make a change then it?s up to me and only me.

Don?t get me wrong, I have a pretty good life, I?m thirty and I?m my own boss, I live in central London and know enough fucked up people to just a bout keep me sane..

I just wondered what other people do when they get ?that? feeling and if it made any of them actually make a change and what happened after??


Plus I also think the Cat in the Hat film is going to be quite good even if I am getting a bit pissed off with that little Dakota Fanning..

If you ever really sat down and considered how little all that your life, even if it is successful, adds up to, there'd be no way out except the window. You only have to look at the suicide rate, particularly among young men and especially at this time of year, to see that the long dark teatime of the soul (copyright D Adams) is a common theme.

When I get that feeling, I either let off steam over some minor complaint and rage for ages, or lock it up inside myself as ammunition for that day when I go spectacularly off the rails. I don't think there is any correct solution to it. But just being aware of it helps, I suppose.

Caractacus,

I liked your post, especially the bit about storing it all up and using it as fuel for the big one? oh what a dream.

Now that we agree that life is shit and you just make the best of it what you can and try not to fuck up to much, or get caught to much as maybe the case..

The only problem is, now I have to think of a suitably grandiose final scene, the big show down if you will.. My escape plan had always been to do a runner and open a bar in Thailand if it all got to much for me here, I even have a savings plan that I started when I was eighteen expressly with this in mind.

But I quite like the idea of one big final gesture, a big fuck you to the rest of the world, apart you the BGAFD of course.

I shall have to give this some thought. but I can?t help thinking it would be fitting if it involved Dakota Fanning in someway, I don?t know why..

Unless you're clinically depressed, force yourself to count your blessings.
Trite, but true.
Job/all faculties/own teeth/whatever.....................and at least you haven't got a streaming cold, like me.

Very true JJ, the easiest way back to 'thinking life is great' is to be unfortunate enough to have a heavy life threatning illness, you realise that all the money in the world, all the property, cars etc, mean fuck all! as you cant use any of it.
A very humbling experience.

Finding a consistent worthwhile purpose is somewhat harder but would seem to be the obvious goal to obtaining
lasting happiness

More to do with Spirituality & Discipline than Materialism IMHO

cheers
B....OZ See you all in hell for the barbecue...lol

Well, I feel pretty lousy, but "life-threatening" is a bit hyperbolic, even for me.
Still, at least I don't own a camper..............[miaooowwww.....]

I have several purposes in life: to watch every porn flick ever made, shag every presentable female on the planet aged between 17 and 45, promote world peace, and see Sunderland win the premiership.
Not very good ones, as I'd be the first to admit............

I expect you have already tried sucking a fishermans friend........miaoooow.