egafd.com

I was playing football recently and my striking partner, who fancies himself, (somone has to), went for yet another dive. At which point the side we were playing against surrounded him, with their 'keeper screaming, 'You fucking Drogba'. It was all very funny until he twatted their 'keeper and the whole thing turned into a handbags' situation, with the ref sending off five players. Great for me because they lost two defenders and their 'keeper, and I scored five. Hurrah! It was just like being back at school....minus the acne. Still, the next day I could hardly walk due to all the running.

Drogba - a cheating, unmanly gentleman of uncertain paternity.

numbnut

'Hate your job but dont hate me ...I'm a great guy'..

its from a film I think....use it when I am faced with a jobsworth.....

"He couldn't count his balls and come up with the same number twice. "

When getting out of my car in a road rage I usualy offer the idiot a service "why don't I rip your kin head of a stick it up your own ass so you lick your own collon" that usually works. As for footie I remeber playing in a cup game against a team a few divisions above our team and their forward telling me we were about to get fucked, I decided to get my dick out a tell him one more word he was getting fuck right now, I mean no one wants to show a bruised ring piece to your mates in the pub after a game of football. They did beat us but he avoided me the whole game,

Phil McC

arse, arse McBumwipe.

Years ago i was in a pub in The Old Kent Road and this guy was getting a load of chops from his girl , he then turned and said to her what you need is a length of barbed wire shoved up your cunt and pulled out your mouth, well this was between the two of them until this other bloke poked his nose in and said you should never speak to a girl like that and with this all hell broke loose, bottles, glasses and fist were flying everywhere, i managed to slip out the door unscathed thinking to myself i dont think i will ever use that line as an insult!shush!