Turn On's - Turn Off's

[Officer Dibble]

"Forget this chavvy shit because very few people - myself included - have any idea what in hell you are talking about."

OK then, I'll put you in the picture next time I call round for a cup of Earl Grey.


"I've seen you latest brochure and it is GREAT."

Why thank you kind sir. I guess I'm still 'the man' in that particular field of porno endeavour.


Officer Dibble

[marcusallen]

Paul,
Be kind to yourself and think before you print.
"spunking deep inside a girl" is NOT what it is all about.
Dont' know what dream pie is, I'm old fashioned.

[Officer Dibble]

?What could be more natural than a guy spunking deep inside a girl - it's how we all got here!?

What could be more natural indeed? I don?t dispute that statement at all.

But glorying in spunk slowly oozing out of a red raw (it seems it has to be red raw) vagina or arsehole is a total travesty of what sex really is. It has no precedence in human sexuality (as far as I can see) indeed ?cream-pies? seem to have been invented in the past 10 years by some American gonzo idiots when they were wondering how to pad out a crap 2.5 hour movie up with just 4 trailer trash birds (4 birds equals 4 * 15 minute fuck and suck scenes). So, instead of hiring some more nice (expensive) ladies they came up with all the afor mentioned bollocks, hyped it up a bit in porno circles, and then started acting as though they were really cool and cutting edge and anyone who didn?t like their new ?nasty? sex was a reactionary square! Of course loads of impressionable people allowed themselves to be suckered by all this bollocks - like those knobheads that pretend they love the latest ultra-cool pop band to gain street cred with their peers.

But anyhow, if the unedifying sight of sore, gapping, cunts and arseholes, oozing spent spunk, are really your bag, here are a few examples -







Officer Dibble

[one eyed jack]

Yawn! Ere we fackin' go again....All the usual bourgoise opinions. Moaning minnies still moaning hoping to make that difference but doing fack all about it still. Christ on a bike! Don't you realise as valid as your comments are you are mostly in the minority. The key is marketing and distributing. Chav porn is going to rule the world...Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-haaaaaaaaaaaah! Gonzo rules I tells ya! Kneel before real people porn!!!!

Cue thunderstorms, billowing winds, torrential rain and vicious sheet lightning and other dramatic corny bollocks cos Jacks comin' back baby!!!!!

Marcus, I love you man. When that alcohol is kicking in your system, never a truer word was said.

All naysayers. Step back.

[Officer Dibble]

So, you've been out out for a bevy, Tel?

Officer Dibbs

[nachovx]

I don't like fat girls or a girl saving 25 loads in her mouth and swallowing it in one gulp. Spotty arses are out.

[Deuce Bigolo]

Very Simple

Turn ons

Women

Turn offs

Men

cheers
B....OZ

[one eyed jack]

Nah officer, I'm jober as a sudge. I'm bored of reading the same old same old. I wouldnt mind so much but we've been down this road since the BGAFD started. All everyone does is moan...I think everyone here who doesnt make porn films is an armchair critic and a frustrated film maker in that they think they could do better. Yes I can get the fittest prettiest girls cos I'm better than everyone. I'll spend millions and give the models great pay- Uh, why stop there, I'll give them a pension plan and a share in the profits. I'll have the highest production values ever, I'll get ILM to do the effects and I'll make love to the girls because I'm the only one that knows good porn and blah, blah, blah. C'mon people, enough already. Shut up and do something about it. Stop moaning!

I can't understand why anyone moans when there is so much stuff out there to put a sex maniac in a coma. Theres enough for everybody. The people who moan about it don't even buy porn, so why bother moan. Y-A-W-N!!!!!!!!

Actually, you all have a right to moan. I have a right not to read. My apologies. I'm outty!

[Deuce Bigolo]

one eyed jack wrote:

> Nah officer, I'm jober as a sudge. I'm bored of reading the
> same old same old. I wouldnt mind so much but we've been down
> this road since the BGAFD started. All everyone does is
> moan...I think everyone here who doesnt make porn films is an
> armchair critic and a frustrated film maker in that they think
> they could do better. Yes I can get the fittest prettiest girls
> cos I'm better than everyone. I'll spend millions and give the
> models great pay- Uh, why stop there, I'll give them a pension
> plan and a share in the profits. I'll have the highest
> production values ever, I'll get ILM to do the effects and I'll
> make love to the girls because I'm the only one that knows good
> porn and blah, blah, blah. C'mon people, enough already. Shut
> up and do something about it. Stop moaning!

Me too.....the same tired arguments all fully explained if anyone wishes to take the time to read the archives
>
> I can't understand why anyone moans when there is so much stuff
> out there to put a sex maniac in a coma. Theres enough for
> everybody. The people who moan about it don't even buy porn, so
> why bother moan. Y-A-W-N!!!!!!!!

Some people like banging their heads against brick walls!!!
Much easier just to avoid that which you don't like and find what you do
but of course this might mean doing some research-god forbid
>
> Actually, you all have a right to moan. I have a right not to
> read. My apologies. I'm outty!

We all have a right not to read,Punters included AMEN!!!!
>
>

[mart]

This to one eye jack...We have the right to moan because its our money.

As to us not being film-makers....If you have a problem with your car do you only complain if you can build a car yourself?

Mart