Spaffer Johnson's Government

A place to socialise and share opinions with other members of the BGAFD Community.
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spider
Posts: 2384
Joined: Fri Jul 14, 2017 2:40 am

Re: Spaffer Johnson's Government

Post by spider »

Sources say Johnson is complaining about money. He is still supporting four out of his six children, has been through an expensive divorce and had his income drop by more than half as a result of fulfilling his lifetime ambition.


LMFAO

Oh Dear, How Sad, Never Mind

:):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)


Another day, another fuck up
spider
Posts: 2384
Joined: Fri Jul 14, 2017 2:40 am

Re: Spaffer Johnson's Government

Post by spider »

Downing St, latest:

?Testing is broken. It looks bad?

?Why don?t we impose ?10,000 fines for people who test positive if they don?t self-isolate fully. It?ll discourage people from getting tests?

?But won?t that help the virus spread??

?Who cares? We?ll look good?

?Brilliant!?



Another day, another fuck up
spider
Posts: 2384
Joined: Fri Jul 14, 2017 2:40 am

Re: Spaffer Johnson's Government

Post by spider »

Exception to new lockdown rule to be announced this week

- You?re following your instinct as a father
- You?re checking your eyesight
- You leave the house in a specific and limited way



Another day, another fuck up
spider
Posts: 2384
Joined: Fri Jul 14, 2017 2:40 am

Re: Spaffer Johnson's Government

Post by spider »

Divorced father of between six and nine kids (no-one knows), with drink problem, living with new girlfriend, (police being called to flat to break up fights with new girlfriend), living off the state complains about being "hard up".

Another day, another fuck up
M25crash
Posts: 1214
Joined: Fri Jul 14, 2017 2:40 am

Re: Spaffer Johnson's Government

Post by M25crash »

As again

just spin from the NEWS ...get a life TWAT
spider
Posts: 2384
Joined: Fri Jul 14, 2017 2:40 am

Re: Spaffer Johnson's Government

Post by spider »

Latest from Hat Mancock...


?If everybody follows the rules - everybody! - then we can avoid a further national lockdown?

This is from the government that says it?s ok to break international law headed by a man who broke the rules for an ?eye test?.

Another day, another fuck up
spider
Posts: 2384
Joined: Fri Jul 14, 2017 2:40 am

Re: Spaffer Johnson's Government

Post by spider »

Breaking news...


Perugia has just been twinned with Barnard Castle.


Another day, another fuck up.
spider
Posts: 2384
Joined: Fri Jul 14, 2017 2:40 am

Re: Spaffer Johnson's Government

Post by spider »

JUNE - it?s your civic duty to go to the pub

JULY - go back to the office and buy coffee on the way

AUGUST - eat out, we?ll pay half

SEPTEMBER - this is your last chance to stop spreading the virus

Another day, another fuck up
m100
Posts: 1505
Joined: Fri Jul 14, 2017 2:40 am

Re: Spaffer Johnson's Government

Post by m100 »

Cracked it! (well it was inevitable after all that pulling) but...

OCTOBER, it's the month Boris gets pissed again, ends up in hospital and they pretend he's had Coronavirus again.

We have a winner. I'd like the speedboat please Jim.
spider
Posts: 2384
Joined: Fri Jul 14, 2017 2:40 am

Re: Spaffer Johnson's Government

Post by spider »

NOVEMBER - Boris is caught shagging a pole dancing, tech entrepreneur / ballet dancer in the ladies toilet at Perugia airport.

DECEMBER - Another of the Spaffer's mistresses gives birth to his seventh / eighth / ninth child (no one is sure of the number) on Christmas Day.

JANUARY - The transition period ends with no-deal and "The Spaffer" goes on a six week holiday to the Maldives paid for by Evgeny Lebedev (because Johnson is so poor he has to get other people to pay for his holidays).

FEBRUARY - The UK economy collapses.

MARCH - The Spaffer accepts a job offer from Vladimir Putin and relocates to Moscow.

Another day, another fuck up
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