Whats THE best joke,ever?

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Sarah Kelly
Posts: 2879
Joined: Fri Jul 14, 2017 2:40 am

Re: Whats THE best joke,ever?

Post by Sarah Kelly »

im gonna let it pass that im of irish heritage (lol)... that makes the cut and will be told at the Ukap many ,many times .. Thank you xx

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SarahKellyxxx
Sam Slater
Posts: 11624
Joined: Fri Jul 14, 2017 2:40 am

Re: Whats THE best joke,ever?

Post by Sam Slater »

No problem, jj. Knew you weren't taking sides.

[i]I used to spend a lot of time criticizing Islam on here in the noughties - but things are much better now.[/i]
mutanthalibut
Posts: 512
Joined: Fri Jul 14, 2017 2:40 am

Re: mmm, not as funny, mutant.

Post by mutanthalibut »

I didn't realise they where all animal based....The theme I was going for was they are all bar jokes....Glad you liked the bear one.

...Anyway...my favourite animal themed joke, which in my opinion is one of the best jokes ever........

Disclaimer;

WARNING THIS JOKE IS SEXIST (I am not, but I find this amusing) It is not my intention to start a thread about sexism such as the one about racism already raging out of control on this post. As I have already stated THIS JOKE IS SEXIST.

Here goes......

....... A guy walks into his house carrying a sheep under one arm. He loudly proclaims "This is the pig I have sex with, whenever you have a headache."

His wife staring at him, says sarcastically "I think you'll find that is a sheep!!"

He replies "I think you'll find I'm talking to the sheep."


Hope you enjoyed that. For any complaints please write to;

M Halibut
Kelp Ridge
North Sea Bottom

supsim96
Posts: 252
Joined: Fri Jul 14, 2017 2:40 am

Re: Whats THE best joke,ever?

Post by supsim96 »

not sure! but there's a good chance it would have been told by this guy . . .

http://www.jackiemason.com/index.cfm
jj
Posts: 28236
Joined: Fri Jul 14, 2017 2:40 am

Re: Whats THE best joke,ever?

Post by jj »

Ah, but I could have been lying : -)

"a harmless drudge, that busies himself in tracing the original, and detailing the
signification...."
Sam Slater
Posts: 11624
Joined: Fri Jul 14, 2017 2:40 am

Re: Whats THE best joke,ever?

Post by Sam Slater »

Me too!

[i]I used to spend a lot of time criticizing Islam on here in the noughties - but things are much better now.[/i]
jj
Posts: 28236
Joined: Fri Jul 14, 2017 2:40 am

Re: mmm, not as funny, mutant.

Post by jj »

THAT'S SEXIST !!!!!!

"a harmless drudge, that busies himself in tracing the original, and detailing the
signification...."
jj
Posts: 28236
Joined: Fri Jul 14, 2017 2:40 am

Re: Whats THE best joke,ever?

Post by jj »

Sarah Kelly wrote:
> im gonna let it pass that im of irish heritage

Ummm.. the 'Kelly' bit was a slight giveaway : -)

"a harmless drudge, that busies himself in tracing the original, and detailing the
signification...."
beutelwolf
Posts: 1210
Joined: Fri Jul 14, 2017 2:40 am

Re: Whats THE best joke,ever?

Post by beutelwolf »

jj wrote:

> Old Tasmanian [learn the language, idiots...], why is it that
> so many
> Germans find 'Mr. Bean' so funny?
> It puzzles me sorely.....
>
>

There is a slight preference in Germany towards physical comedy, perhaps because verbal comedy in Germany tends to be either on the intellectual side or very shallow indeed.

But Bean's success is largely also a bit of a misconception: it is true that Mr Bean is a more successful comedy export than most from Britain; but that is just due to a language barrier (and to a lesser extent, cultural barrier) problem, which Bean cleverly circumvents. In comparsion, selling HIGNFY to Germany would be a complete non-starter, on so many levels.

To be honest, I'm not ideally placed to comment on that - I moved away from Germany when the Labour party leader was still Neil Kinnock, and that predates the Bean character slightly.
countb
Posts: 1240
Joined: Fri Jul 14, 2017 2:40 am

Re: Whats THE best joke,ever?

Post by countb »

Heres more of a conundrum than a joke but nevertheless........Answer the following 4 questions.
1 whats the biggest mammal in the sea?
2 whats the main export of Saudi Arabia?
3 whats the main export of Argentina?
4 whats the abbreviation for October?

Now you should have all 4 answers so say them in order as though you were an Irishman who had just won the lotto.
I cant wait for some of the replies lol

fighting hard but fighting fair
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