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IMHO the photographer / producer should clearly explain the content / location / times they seek to the prospective model(s).

The model(s) then has (have) the choice to accept in full, subject to agreement on payment and a specific date, offer to accept with certain exclusions and/or changes or decline outright.

The answer might not be the one the photographer / producer wants but no reason for them to be nasty in any way.

However once a is shoot agreed and the date booked the photographer / producer has every reason to be nasty if cancelled on unless a totally unforeseen genuine reason as at best time wasted and loss of content while at worst out of pocket if a studio / location and maybe another model to still pay as well as loss of profit on sales if a commercial shoot.

With instant communication via mobile phones for voice, text and often internet for email and failing that pay phones and internet cafes there is no excuse for a no-show.

Should the photographer / producer want to change the shoot once under way again no reason to be nasty if the model refuses so the shoot carries on as agreed in advance.
However if the model refuses part of the agreed shoot the photographer / producer has reason to be nasty.

There's never reason to be 'nasty'. Annoyed, yes.

I get about ten emails a day off people with no info, no pics on their profile etc wanting to shoot 'an amateur POV' with me. You very much get the impression they just want to fuck you and have handycam footage to show their mates.

Some of them are proper affronted and rude when I say no. I have had one person say I shouldn't advertise if I 'don't mean it', despite my info saying that I only want to shoot pro stuff. If I don't get offered pro stuff, so be it, I still won't do that regular guy/camcorder stuff. I could do that with my husband who I'm actually attracted to.