Football etc

[David Johnson]

Could I please ask that Flat Eric's post here gets added to the Frequently Asked Questions - What other posting rules do I need to follow section of BGAFD?

Flat Eric's post is a minor classic of it's sort and can provide an excellent introduction to new posters on the O/T Forum.

"I detect a touch of McCarthyism in Don's ramblings."

Get your insult in early to set the tone of the entire message. The insult helps to attract your readers' attention.

"Except that instead of seeing Communists lurking behind every bush, he sees "racists" lurking behind every post".

Be aware of your readership. Many might think McCarthy might be that bloke who used to be in the Beatles who seems to pop up on every celebratory event in Britain these days. Try to give some context to your insults for maximum effect.

"You sir, are a fanatic"

Once again, reinforce the insult with another. Some readers are very slow on the uptake.

"So much so that in a former life you were probably one of those mad puritan religious types who would accuse people of being witches just because they had warts or because they lived alone, were a bit eccentric and kept cats".

Try to demonise your opponent as far as possible. The best way to do this is by comparing them to mad religious types in times past or even worse, dear reader, Labour supporters.

"I can see you now - in your black garb, pudding bowl haircut and matching tall black hat - whipping the villagers into a frenzy with your mad cries of "Burn the witch! Burn the witch"

Some readers may not be very well up on persecution through the ages so try and paint a picture even if it is totally inaccurate. After all, very few fuckers will know!

"A good analogy I think, given that "racism" is the "witchcraft" of the 21st century".

Try to compliment yourself once. Any more, makes you appear a smug, self-satisfied creep. Meaningless comparisons are good like "racism" is the "witchcraft" of the 21st century, Belgian chocolate mousse is the apple crumble of the middle classes etc. etc.

"Because while you're busy shouting down as "racists" people who make comments you don't like or who think differently to you, there are plenty of people out there who would take one look at what you do for a living (Don Roobles, purveyor of hardcore porn) and judge you as an evil "exploiter of women" and a vile, misogynistic male chauvinist pig who treats the female of the species as little more than sex objects to be used and discarded."

Always try to divert attention from oneself. So although Eric's post is a non-stop stream of insults, make sure you describe your poster as "shouting down". He's the irrational, insulting one, right? You are the one who has just popped back from the vicar's tea party to impart some advice in a friendly tone.

Secondly, if someone makes some comments/criticism that you are concerned might include you, try to point out that a lot of people might not like him for whatever reasons, he makes porn (unlikely on this forum but it takes all sorts), his feet smell - that kind of thing.

"The same applies to those other "industry" posters on here who like to toss around lazy accusations of "racism".

If the original poster has some supporters, make sure you label them exactly the same way. It gives readers the impression that you, the poster who are in fact pouring out bile and contempt, are under attack from a veritable legion of opponents. This is known as the "I'm white and 99% of the UK population is Muslim and every time I mention this (three times a day and four times on Sunday) I get labelled as a racist" ploy.

"Now I'm sure you don't see yourself as that and neither do I."

Nice touch which should I feel, BGAFD Admin, fit into the advanced tips for posters section. Although the rest of your post might give readers the impression that you are a few sultanas short of a Xmas cake, at least try to sound sane and rational for one sentence in your post.

"You're passing judgement on people you don't know from Adam, based on nothing more than your own interpretations of a few comments made on a porn OT forum".

This type of ploy requires bravado and pzazz. Obviously given Mr Roobles hardly posts on the O/T forum at all, Flat Eric is, of course "passing judgement on people you don't know from Adam". But don't let any sign of self awareness or self knowledge creep into your post. It will only fuck up your best insults.

"But while it's fair to say that this forum is visited by plenty who probably wouldn't fall into the "stark raving liberal" or "progressive socialist" categories (myself included), no-one on here is Adolf Hitler or Nick Griffin either - at least not in any of the threads I've read (and I've read quite a few)"

Another nice touch. This is known as the Arsene Wenger approach i.e. when regularly asked if he had seen Martin Keown knowingly amputate the left peg of the opposing forward, Wenger would answer that he hadn't seen it.

"(and I've read quite a few)"

Anything that smacks of a line from a Frank Sinatra classic lyric helps you come across as a regular bloke, even sane, perhaps.

"So wind your neck in"

Always end with an insult, in case the reader drifted off after the opening insult.

In summary Eric, total, fucking bilge, as usual from you but expressed with some style.

[Flat_Eric]

Sounds like you've been at the sherry again David!

I'd go steady if I were you - there's New Year still to negotiate yet. Will you be inviting Don up for a cosy night in your Aunt Ada's B&B to see in 2013 with a few - ahem - fireworks !wink!? I'm sure you two would get on famously.

Anyway - what chance Blackpool this season eh, with that new gaffer and all?!

- Eric

[David Johnson]

"I'd go steady if I were you - there's New Year still to negotiate yet. Will you be inviting Don up for a cosy night in your Aunt Ada's B&B to see in 2013 with a few - ahem - fireworks ? I'm sure you two would get on famously."

Another addition to the new poster guidelines, Admin, apart from explaining how threads work that is....

When your post gets completely slaughtered, point by point, never respond in terms of the content of the post which has buried you without trace. Admit defeat.

Instead try to laugh it off with some imbecilic post worthy of a retarded 7 year old.

!wink!

[Lizard]

"Instead try to laugh it off with some imbecilic post worthy of a retarded 7 year old."

You just did you prick, what's your point?

[David Johnson]

You just did you prick, what's your point?

The point is clear. Ask Eric if you are struggling. If you still don't understand, you can both scuttle off and have a moan about how the BGAFD has been taken over by metrosexual, left wing loonies.

Yet again! And again! And again!

!wink!

[Sam Slater]

Come on, lads. You wouldn't see me arguing over the festive period.

[Flat_Eric]

David Johnson wrote:

[quote]When your post gets completely slaughtered, point by point, never respond in terms of the content of the post which has buried you without trace. Admit defeat.[/quote]


You are a card, David.

"Slaughtered" indeed !laugh!.

I was actually chuckling away at the crass hypocrisy of your idiotic ramblings.

For example:

[quote]Get your insult in early to set the tone of the entire message. The insult helps to attract your readers' attention.[/quote]

Like this you mean?



Or this?



Or this?



[quote]Once again, reinforce the insult with another. Some readers are very slow on the uptake.[/quote]

This again:




If I had the time and the inclination, I could quite happily trawl through your "back catalogue" and 'counter your counters' all night. But to be honest David - I really can't be arsed.

I do wonder though what your motives are for posting on here? Because you said recently that this is the ONLY place that you post online. And I'm intrigued as to why that is.

Is it because you're really quite an insecure, troubled individual with confidence issues, and you feel that your inadequacies would be exposed if you were to post on a "proper" news or current affairs forum? And so like nasty, cynical bullies everywhere, you choose to stalk somewhere where you feel the pickings are easier (in this case a porn site OT forum) and constantly rip the piss out of and patronise what you obviously regard as "low-hanging fruit" such Max and Argie? Because let's face it David - very few of your posts on here actually discuss the subject of the respective thread. The vast majority are devoted to either (1) insulting other posters' intelligence, (2) feeble (and usuallly piss-poor) attempts at satire, (3) general hectoring, scoffing, ridiculing and bullying, or (4) any combination of the above.

So do tell David ? I'm intrigued. Why do you post on here and not (say) the Guardian site? Or Socialist Worker? Have you been barred from the others and this is the only place left on the Web that will tolerate you? !laugh!

- Eric

[Flat_Eric]

And you STILL haven't told us what you think of Blackpool's chances this season.

It is supposed to be a football thread after all !wink!.

- Eric

[David Johnson]

"If I had the time and the inclination, I could quite happily trawl through your "back catalogue" and 'counter your counters' all night."

Oh dear, I was highlighting your post as an example of classic style BGAFD posts for new posters.

Have I ever said anywhere that I am perfect? Have I ever said that I never take the piss? Have I ever said that I never ever use any of the techniques described in my comments on your post? Of course I haven't.

I could have saved you all that time and found some of my posts to illustrate your point rather than you having to waste your evening looking for links.

"Is it because you're really quite an insecure, troubled individual with confidence issues, and you feel that your inadequacies would be exposed if you were to post on a "proper" news or current affairs forum?"

Blimey Eric, you have my psychological makeup down to a "t". How do you do that?

"So do tell David ? I'm intrigued. Why do you post on here and not (say) the Guardian site? Or Socialist Worker? Have you been barred from the others and this is the only place left on the Web that will tolerate you?"

Of course I could shove a few links up for you connected to the "I hate metrosexuals and politically correct people particularly the "tossiest of tossers" " forum where you might feel more at home, Eric.

But you have already joined that one, haven't you !laugh! !laugh! !laugh!

I'm seeing the worryingly telltale signs of you getting obsessed with me. I saw the same signs in Jim Slip i.e. why are you posting on here and disagreeing with me all the time etc. etc.

Well sorry and all that, but I never give a moment's thought about why you post on here, other than because I think you are probably bored shitless by the other place and fancy an argument.

I post on here because I choose to. If I disagree with someone's views and I can be arsed I challenge them. Just like you, I guess and the vast majority of other posters here. Sometimes I am a bit over the top in my comments but so are a number of people on this forum.

And as for good, old Max I have the utmost respect for the way he sticks to his views. I don't agree with some of his views, but so what.

"very few of your posts on here actually discuss the subject of the respective thread."

Really? One wonders then why you feel sufficiently knowledgeable to suggest I should post on the Guardian or Socialist Worker if my sole purpose is to insult? I would more likely to sign up for the "I hate metrosexuals and tossiest of tossers" forum, eh Eric?

Good night Eric and no obsessing about me, ya here?

[Flat_Eric]

David Johnson wrote:

[quote]Oh dear, I was highlighting your post as an example of classic style BGAFD posts for new posters. [/quote]

Yes I noticed. Another of your lame and tiresome stabs at "satire".

[quote]Have I ever said that I never ever use any of the techniques described in my comments on your post? Of course I haven't. [/quote]

A bit stupid to pull another poster up for it then.

[quote]I could have saved you all that time and found some of my posts to illustrate your point rather than you having to waste your evening looking for links. [/quote]

Took me under a minute to find those so no harm, no foul.


[quote]Of course I could shove a few links up for you connected to the "I hate metrosexuals and politically correct people particularly the "tossiest of tossers" " forum where you might feel more at home, Eric. [/quote]

"tossiest of tossers". Sounds like a piss-poor attempt at Blackadder-esque humour.

[quote]Well sorry and all that, but I never give a moment's thought about why you post on here, other than because I think you are probably bored shitless by the other place and fancy an argument. [/quote]

Not bothered whether you do or not. But ?

[quote]I'm seeing the worryingly telltale signs of you getting obsessed with me. I saw the same signs in Jim Slip i.e. why are you posting on here and disagreeing with me all the time etc. etc.[/quote]

You're good at twisting things round aren't you? Remind me who it was who jumped in and started this little exchange over the comments I addressed to Mr. Roobles ? comments which weren't even directed at you.

So - who's really obsessed with who, eh David?! !wink! Who's following who around the forum? Carry on like this old son and I'll be taking out a restraining order! !laugh!

[quote]And as for good, old Max I have the utmost respect for the way he sticks to his views. I don't agree with some of his views, but so what.[/quote]

A shame that you don't show a bit more of that "utmost respect" in your snide, patronising replies to his posts then.

[quote]Good night Eric and no obsessing about me, ya here?[/quote]

In your dreams, David. In your dreams.

- Eric