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Jim

Posted: Wed Apr 28, 2010 1:11 pm
by David Johnson
Actually the real explanation was that the teacher and pupil were indulging in method acting as part of an informal practice session for a forthcoming school play "Aggro with Form 5Z"

Very unfortunately as part of the role play, the pupil moved involuntarily thus placing his head in the trajectory of the dumbell.

The injuries sustained, although serious, were completely accidental.

Yours
Johnson of the Bailey (invoice in the post)

Re: A question to the wise elders of BGAFD

Posted: Wed Apr 28, 2010 1:40 pm
by Lizard
Jim. Your knowledge of Military hardware is deeply troubling to me. I hope your not thinking of doing anything rash with it. Please keep a perspective and remember, sometimes life is not always a bowl of cherries.

Now, come out of that cave and stop drinking yer own piss.


Re: A question to the wise elders of BGAFD

Posted: Wed Apr 28, 2010 4:09 pm
by Peter
jimslip wrote:


>
> I therefore have no other option, than to loan you for one day
> only, a fully armed and ready, Challenger Tank, I've been so
> bold as to add on, a Boeing 7.62mm NATO Chain gun, 20 depleted
> uranium tipped 120mm shells and a7.62mm anti aircraft gun,
> which I have adapted to fire horizontally. Here is a bit of
> paper with the little bastards address on it, now go and finish
> the job man!"!tut!
>
>

If you can get hold of 16kg of weapons grade plutonium, i can knock you up a nice little firework. You'd need to sort out delivery yourself, though.

Re: A question to the wise elders of BGAFD

Posted: Wed Apr 28, 2010 4:10 pm
by Peter
PS Spooks undoubtedly reading this, its humour!

Re: A question to the wise elders of BGAFD

Posted: Wed Apr 28, 2010 4:39 pm
by Bob Singleton
Peter wrote:


> If you can get hold of 16kg of weapons grade plutonium, i can
> knock you up a nice little firework. You'd need to sort out
> delivery yourself, though.


Only ?21.95 with DHL, if within the UK.

Very reasonable... could take out the whole of Yorkshire for that. Now, anyone know where I can get 16kg of weapons grade plutonium cheaply? I looked on ebay but nada! !grin!


Re: A question to the wise elders of BGAFD

Posted: Wed Apr 28, 2010 5:44 pm
by Peter
Bob Singleton wrote:


>
> Only ?21.95 with DHL, if within the UK.
>
> Very reasonable... could take out the whole of Yorkshire for
> that. Now, anyone know where I can get 16kg of weapons grade
> plutonium cheaply? I looked on ebay but nada! !grin!
>
>

It would probably cost a bit more though, as you'd need to send it as two 8kg packages. 16kg all together tends to pop and fizz a little. Are you still interested with the increased shipping costs?

Re: A question to the wise elders of BGAFD

Posted: Wed Apr 28, 2010 5:54 pm
by Bob Singleton
Peter wrote:


>
> It would probably cost a bit more though, as you'd need to send
> it as two 8kg packages. 16kg all together tends to pop and fizz
> a little. Are you still interested with the increased shipping
> costs?

Given the target is Yorkshire... absolutely. I'd be happy to pay double!!!


Re: A question to the wise elders of BGAFD

Posted: Wed Apr 28, 2010 6:37 pm
by Porn Free
I move to suggest that it was not a dumbell at all, in fact it was an inanimate object subject to voodoo that took upon it a life of its own, in fact it was an 'intelligentBell' and that it was not at all a matter for the plaintive to even have an effect on and that this case be sumarilly dismissed for a) lack of evidence to the contrary and b) clear case of teachers being restricted of means of protest in front of clearly aggressive and abusive behaviour.

What's more I clearly state case 1345346 of smith who in 1856 had his case dismissed for clear lack of evidence when his abusive son was devoured by the devil.

Re: A question to the wise elders of BGAFD

Posted: Wed Apr 28, 2010 7:49 pm
by jimslip
For your info, DIY Nuclear reactor:



May get a bit of Plutonium out of it?


Not guilty of murder/gbh with intent

Posted: Thu Apr 29, 2010 1:12 pm
by David Johnson
Harvey has been found not guilty of attempted murder and not guilty of grievous bodily harm with intent.

He is now strangely, driving round London in an open- top bus surrounded by vestal virgins feeding him grapes.

Not for too long, however. He is due back in court in a few weeks re. sentencing for the charge of grievous bodily harm without intent which he admitted.

Cheers
D