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The 'two nuns in the bath' one.
If they don't get the joke, the expression on their faces is a hoot,
so you win either way.

Absolutely : -)

her "gammon"? i havent got further than reading up to "gammon"!!! Thats an awefull term, tho i found a new pub doing a great gammon (the Ham steak!) egg and chips at a very modest price.... But "gammon",my God! x

More?..i dont think i dare Babe x!wink!

More?..i dont think i dare Babe x!wink!

This may not make the final cut,unless things get desperate !wink!x

Aye, but think of the hairs !hmmm!

Some of my favourites for you Sarah:

A man goes to the doctor and says "I'm worried about my wife - she keeps thinking she's a chicken."

The doctor says "We can soon get her out of that, I'll send her to see a psychiatrist". The man says

"Don't be too hasty 'cos we need the eggs".

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An 85 year old man goes to the doctor and says "I'm not enjoying sex like I used to." (His wife is 79).

The doctor asks "And when did you first notice this?".

The old boy replies "Twice last night and again this morning."

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One day in the Garden of Eden, God tells Adam & Eve he's got two gifts, one for each of them. The condition being that whoever doesn't choose the first gift ends up with the second one.

God asks them "Who wants to be able to pee standing up?" and Adam says "I do".

God turns to Eve and says "Right, you get the multiple orgasm".

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A charitable man in a Rolls-Royce picks up a drifter and gives him a lift. The drifter finds some golf tees in the glove compartment and (not knowing anything about golf) asks what they are.

The driver says "They're for resting your balls on before driving off."

The drifter replies "Rolls-Royce think of everything, don't they?"


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A man goes next door to see his mate. The wife comes to the door in tears and explains that he died that morning. The man asks what happened, and the lady says "He went down the garden to pull a cabbage for dinner, and he must have done his heart in."

The neighbour says "Oh I am sorry to hear that. What are you going to do now?".

The lady says "We're OK - I opened a can of peas instead."

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A little girl sees two dogs at it in the yard. She asks her Mom what's happening, to which Mom replies "They're making puppies".

The next Sunday morning the girl wanders into Mom & Dad's bedroom, and yup, Dad's on top of Mom. The girl asks what they're doing and Mom says "We're making a baby".

The girl says "Mom, can you turn over, I'd rather have a puppy".

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A boy and girl meet on a night out and they get on pretty well, so the boy asks the girl back to his place for "coffee".

The girl says "I'm sorry, but I'm on my menstrual cycle."

The boy replies "That's O.K. I'll just follow on my Harley".

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It's show and tell, and the teacher finally tells little Johnny it's his turn. Little Johnny goes up to the chalk board and draws a dot. The teacher asks him what it is. 'A period Miss'.

'What's so special about a period Johnny?'.

Johnny replies, 'Beats me Miss, but this morning, my sister said she missed one, so my mom fainted, my dad had a heart attack, and our neighbour shot himself'.