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hi tomsk,so it was you that nicked bob monkhouses joke book.

lmao im loving those tomsk , thanks for posting. ignore the pointless interjects from stephan

Scene, a hospital ward, just after Jacko's wife has given birth.

Jacko; "How long before we can have sex?"

Doc; "Oh, i'd leave it until he starts school"

A guy picks up a prostitute, and when they get back to her flat, decides to go down on her. After a few seconds, he comes up wih a bit of celery between his teeth. A bit confused, he goes down again, only to find a bit of carrot in his mouth.

"Err," he says to the girl, "are you sick or something?"

"No," she says, "But the last guy was!"

Class !!

Michael Jackson has denied allegations that he slept with Victoria Beckham, he says it couldn't have been him because he was in Brooklyn at the time.

Good, but hardly cutting. For true bad taste it's hats off to Joan Rivers who dedicated her 2002 London shows to (I paraphrase here) "..all those 9/11 fire-fighter widows who have very tragically struck gold". She later added that at $5m apiece it would've been very disappointing had their husbands eventually been found alive.

That's the way to do it.