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Point of fact: chips are often made from expanded polystyrene, which AFAIK is an animal, not a vegetable.
You can have a lot of fun with vegetarians in this way.

I have a horrendous story about pease pudding, which involved a wedding reception in Blythe, where the 'pudding' was less than fresh, it acted quite quickly, add a mix of already pissed geordies including me, and only one toilet cubicle, and you can imagine the scene, some one twatted the caterers, the floor was full of vomit, and the band left without playing a fucking note, still the bride and groom got away, albiet with vomit in their hair. the faggot was home made from a shop near Stockport, which we call the 'coronary store' as they sell eveything 'full fat' bacon with 1/2 inch rind, pork pies with a pint of aspic and lard in them, potted beef with a layer of dripping an inch thick and sausages that flood your grill pan with grease....
brilliant, but not if your a pesioner with clogged arteries!
Morrisons sell brains I think, they are ok, but not as good as the one,s from real butchers, with cows lashes in them.

Didn't the faggot complain a bit when you braised him?
I usually find gagging them first helps.

More culianry tips to be found in Armin Meiwes' new blockbuster 'Cooking Your Friends'.

You can still get it in tins down here (OK but not great), or 'fresh' from the deli counter where, as you say, it is described so patronisingly.
It is definitely better in the North, from a proper grocer (assuming you still have some, like Liptons).

That Flopsy, eh?- total shitbag.

Don't forget they have a lot of executions in the USA so its a word they are used to.

Mart