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Does you guinea pig want to star in a road trip with a shar pei?

Marino, I'm told I look like you so can I be your stunt double please?
I'm worried about you and I'd like to make sure you stay around for a long while so I wont take no for an answer.
Never refuse a chaps generosity or somethinng like that.

I've had a word with the gerbil (who is the g-pig's agent), and apparently
g-pig doesn't 'do' porn anymore due to 'over-exposure'- but is available for reality TV, mindless game-shows and opening supermarkets.
Fees are negotiable, but must include seeds and lots of nice juicy berries. And some E's.

john mason reminds me of someone too but cant think who at the moment.

To Holden.

Please come take my place, I would love to just be behind the camera nowadays, so if you are up for it, feb 5th next road trip.
Thankk you for the concern of me staying around, if I dont get shot, or go bankrupt, SM will be here for along time to come yet.

As for the star struck fucking guinea pig, what are you too good to perform with my beautiful dogs, you should see his licking motion, he's many the reason a porno girl or two have stayed over. Anyone would think you are Jordan of the pet world. Bastard.

Marino, if I thought you were serious for a moment bro, I'd be there but alas it would spell then end of my "respectable" TV career.
If, however, you manage to persuade Amanda Flexi-Bendy Dawkins to appear, I will sell my soul to the devil himself.

Go for it Holdee, then we can get to really see you holdin yer groin!, I,d do it myself, but there,s the Rotary club general meeting, the visit to the chiropractor, small knob etc! we need to generate some cash for Marino, I,m worried about his cottaging habit spiraling out of control........

How about a cottaging Guinea pig, thats gotta be a great film. Come on jj lend us your pet, I nip up to epsom downs public toilet, Uncle bens often their with his camcorder, we can slip into my new super rubber based bin liners and get some guinea pig toilet cottage action.

By the way Holden, I am serious, If you want the gig, i am more than happy to hang up my pants, dont forget guys I have three years worth of movies to release and I am fucking tired, not complaining, and happy to continue fucking my way through the female population, but i would love to put my energies into producing a better series, or am i just talking bollock again?

Hamster or no, I'm never going to the Derby again- you never know who's lurking.............

Talking bollock...just the one?
I worry. It's time for you to produce and save the last bollock.

Marino, the offer is so damned bastard tempting, that I may have found my purpose in life.
No longer shall I resort to insulting that slack jawed slag David Baddiel on the forum, instead I shall be hoping he buys the DVD with me and my love truncheon making it's debut.

I shall take it off the boards and email you when I have finished my childrens TV shite.