Re: Whose to blame for brit porn being the worst
Posted: Sat Nov 20, 2004 12:20 am
Yeah, Brit stuff maybe the best if you're content with sexless, charmless, chavy sorts who don't know how to dress, apply make up, and who have now, seemingly, no conception of feminine allure, seduction, or eroticism.
Yes, of course the vast majority of American stuff is total shite, but the States is a big place, and whatever you're into it?s probably catered for, whereas over here if you have seen one Brit gonzo movie you have seen all there is to contemporary British porn. There is nothing more - Yes, I know some new companies are trying to apply better production values, and I applaud that, problem is, they're using exactly same chavy sex ?stars? as the gonzo guys and they are aping the idiotic, superfluous, sex styles that have been pioneered by the ?misogynistic? Americans in order to 'pad out' a movie - all this industrial strength humping, double DP gang bang, cream pies and spitting. That's not sex, it's bollocks.
We were glad of the German gear 10-15 years ago. Sure, they are the ones who have a predilection for scat, but that's only a fraction of their output, and a left field one at that. Hell, I've only ever seen one German scat film in my entire porno career (and I pray it's the last). So maybe it's over egging it a bit to suggest that?s all there is to German porn? I've been quite impressed with certain aspects of German porn over the past few years - their housefrau movies are far superior to our cringe making efforts. You see, in German housewife movies you seem to get just that - genuine unabashed housewives, who look like they have just got home from shopping at the Bosch equivalent of Sainsbury?s. But here you don't get proper housewives in films; you get appalling, chavy, middle-aged swingers and sex enthusiasts who have tattoos and shaved, pierced, beavers! A strange minority who move within the Brit-porn sub-culture. Thirty, forty and fifty year olds acting lairy and adopting the questionable sartorial standards and mores of Jordan. How naff do they look, eh? What I, and many other ordinary dudes, want from a housewife film is some Helen Mirren sort looking like she's spent the morning at a W.I. meeting.
But porn is crap the world over now. It's the times we live in; standards of dress and behaviour have been jettisoned. Everyone?s now frantically, and indiscriminately, pointing a camcorder at any, and all, naked flesh that comes with in the range of their viewfinder. It?s now an everyday thing, it means nothing, It?s finally made 'the porno movie' banal and unstimulating. Now that every chavy knobhead can point his mobile phone at his bird, Shazza, with her lank hair and totally unimpressive tits, and broadcast this 'Moto Movie' amongst his peers, it's just killed it. But maybe there are those here who have hastened this sad day - by chortling as they shot the naff and banal, when they should have been excising restraint, enforcing standards and laying down the law.
Officer Dibble
P.S. Pianaman. If you think Brit porn is so groovy please point me at some non-chavy Brit birds of equal calibre to the ladies listed below. I want to hire them for a movie.
Yes, of course the vast majority of American stuff is total shite, but the States is a big place, and whatever you're into it?s probably catered for, whereas over here if you have seen one Brit gonzo movie you have seen all there is to contemporary British porn. There is nothing more - Yes, I know some new companies are trying to apply better production values, and I applaud that, problem is, they're using exactly same chavy sex ?stars? as the gonzo guys and they are aping the idiotic, superfluous, sex styles that have been pioneered by the ?misogynistic? Americans in order to 'pad out' a movie - all this industrial strength humping, double DP gang bang, cream pies and spitting. That's not sex, it's bollocks.
We were glad of the German gear 10-15 years ago. Sure, they are the ones who have a predilection for scat, but that's only a fraction of their output, and a left field one at that. Hell, I've only ever seen one German scat film in my entire porno career (and I pray it's the last). So maybe it's over egging it a bit to suggest that?s all there is to German porn? I've been quite impressed with certain aspects of German porn over the past few years - their housefrau movies are far superior to our cringe making efforts. You see, in German housewife movies you seem to get just that - genuine unabashed housewives, who look like they have just got home from shopping at the Bosch equivalent of Sainsbury?s. But here you don't get proper housewives in films; you get appalling, chavy, middle-aged swingers and sex enthusiasts who have tattoos and shaved, pierced, beavers! A strange minority who move within the Brit-porn sub-culture. Thirty, forty and fifty year olds acting lairy and adopting the questionable sartorial standards and mores of Jordan. How naff do they look, eh? What I, and many other ordinary dudes, want from a housewife film is some Helen Mirren sort looking like she's spent the morning at a W.I. meeting.
But porn is crap the world over now. It's the times we live in; standards of dress and behaviour have been jettisoned. Everyone?s now frantically, and indiscriminately, pointing a camcorder at any, and all, naked flesh that comes with in the range of their viewfinder. It?s now an everyday thing, it means nothing, It?s finally made 'the porno movie' banal and unstimulating. Now that every chavy knobhead can point his mobile phone at his bird, Shazza, with her lank hair and totally unimpressive tits, and broadcast this 'Moto Movie' amongst his peers, it's just killed it. But maybe there are those here who have hastened this sad day - by chortling as they shot the naff and banal, when they should have been excising restraint, enforcing standards and laying down the law.
Officer Dibble
P.S. Pianaman. If you think Brit porn is so groovy please point me at some non-chavy Brit birds of equal calibre to the ladies listed below. I want to hire them for a movie.