Don't panic, don't panic

[David Johnson]

I thought it would be a good idea to alert forumites to the latest potential panic.

Environment Secretary, Caroline Spelman, she of the u-turn over selling off the nation's forests to any Tom, Dick or Caroline who had a pile of spare cash has alerted the nation to her view that if there is another dry winter, the water will be turned off completely and standpipes will be used in the streets.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-17907418

I thought I would get in early before Francis Maude and offer some very sound advice to forumites.

1. The jerrycans that you never used to store petrol can be used to store water and kept in the garage and house. Unlike petrol there should be no complaints from those tiresome Health and Safety chappies about risks.

2. Here at Johnson Towers, I am busily getting an Olympic size swimming pool built at Francis's suggestion to store the water through the coming year at the first sign of a temporary relaxation of water regs. Alternatively I am planning to get some unemployed wallahs to do it overnight at some point as part of a six month, unpaid, Water Utilities apprenticeship scheme.

3. Here's another top tip for those of you planning to fly through Heathrow whilst the Olympics is either due to start or actually running. Take an inflatable jerrycan with you in your hand luggage. When you get back to the UK and you see a huge queue in front of you, inflate the jerrycan and fill it with tap water from the bogs. This will help you and the kiddies to survive whilst you play the "Spot the Olympic star being whisked through the VIP channel" game. Maintain interest with a points system e.g. 100 points for Usain Bolt, 2 points for the Ukrainian female 100 metre runner with a beard.

Go carefully now, but above all else, don't panic!!!!!!

[jimslip]

It's a shame that during the long 13 year rule of New Labour no one thought of forcing the greedy water companies to invest in their infrastructure and start thinking of imaginitive ways of collecting and storing water. After all, talk of global warming and potential drought has been going on for years. But of course these measures were far too long term and would have harmed profits to shareholders, something errm..... abhorrent to New Labour? !confused!

[David Johnson]

Bless!

Okay Jim, just to keep you happy. The Labour government could have done much more on reservoir creation. As could John Major, Margaret Thatcher, Palmerston, Disraeli and the Younger Pitt.

Happy now, old bean?

[Toliverwist]

*********************************
jimslip
Date: 05-02-12 21:37

It's a shame that during the long 13 year rule of New Labour no one thought of forcing the greedy water companies to invest in their infrastructure and start thinking of imaginitive ways of collecting and storing water. After all, talk of global warming and potential drought has been going on for years. But of course these measures were far too long term and would have harmed profits to shareholders, something errm..... abhorrent to New Labour? !confused!
*********************************

A more pertinent question might be, 'What gave Thatcher's Tory government the right to purloin the water and sewage facilities from the people who owned them, the populations of England Wales, and flog them off to the highest bidder.

The infrastructure, and organisations for the provision of water and disposal of sewage belonged to the people before the Tories just grabbed the lot and flogged them.

[David Johnson]

Good point.

I suspect that one of the reasons that Spelman is talking up the possibility of standpipes in the streets if there is another dry winter, is that she is softening up the public in the drought stricken areas for large increases in their water bills to pay for the improvements in infrastructure she will argue that's needed to sort any potential problems.

[jimslip]

Tolivertwist wrote:
>

> A more pertinent question might be, 'What gave Thatcher's Tory
> government the right to purloin the water and sewage facilities
> from the people who owned them, the populations of England
> Wales, and flog them off to the highest bidder.
>
> The infrastructure, and organisations for the provision of
> water and disposal of sewage belonged to the people before the
> Tories just grabbed the lot and flogged them.
>
Quite agree! My thoughts on Thatcher being tried for High Treason (Along with blood-thirsty warmonger Blair) are well documented. My point is why didn't New Labour either re-nationalise the utilities when they regained power or at the very least put the corrupt buggers under strict control?

I suspect it is because the New Labourites had secretly bought millions of shares in the utilities whilst in opposition and were greedily trousering the proceeds!

[jimslip]

Tolivertwist wrote:
>

> A more pertinent question might be, 'What gave Thatcher's Tory
> government the right to purloin the water and sewage facilities
> from the people who owned them, the populations of England
> Wales, and flog them off to the highest bidder.
>
> The infrastructure, and organisations for the provision of
> water and disposal of sewage belonged to the people before the
> Tories just grabbed the lot and flogged them.
>
Quite agree! My thoughts on Thatcher being tried for High Treason (Along with blood-thirsty warmonger Blair) are well documented. My point is why didn't New Labour either re-nationalise the utilities when they regained power or at the very least put the corrupt buggers under strict control?

I suspect it is because the New Labourites had secretly bought millions of shares in the utilities whilst in opposition and were greedily trousering the proceeds!

[David Johnson]

"My point is why didn't New Labour either re-nationalise the utilities when they regained power or at the very least put the corrupt buggers under strict control?"

Blair had taken out Clause 4 covering nationalisation in the 1990's as I recall. So whilst he was leader, nationalisation was neither in the constitution nor in any election manifesto. Surprising though this might be in the light of the current toerags in power, it wasn't in the manifesto and they didnt do it!!!!

To answer your next question which you didnt ask but would have got around to anyway - why didn't they do it, irrespective of their manifesto? Well, it became obvious to the Labour movement after the failure of Michael Foot and Kinnock that the only way the Labour party had any chance of being elected, they had to convince the Daily Mail reading, public sector hating electorate that they were going to be prudent, prudent, prudent. So what you saw at the 1997 election was Tory Lite.

It is also worth keeping in mind that Thatcher sold off all the utilities cheap to her City mates. By the time that Labour got elected, the share price had shot up. If they had bought the utilities back, a whole host of people - step forward Jim Slip, would have screamed endlessly about bloated public sector overspending.

Anything else you dont understand, just ask.

[Ken Shabby]

David Johnson wrote:
>

> Anything else you dont understand, just ask.
>

Yeah, my alarm clock keeps flashing 12:00 all day. Any suggestions?

[David Johnson]

Just leave it or otherwise it will probably wake you up.