Things i dislike about modern porn

[mrmcfister]

Must agree with the points above.I find myself steering away from US and UK porn for these reasons.I find the French/Italian stuff at least make an effort.

[Flat_Eric]

My Top Ten gripes:

1) Not enough stockings & suspenders

2) Supposedly **sexy** but in reality daft-looking costumes (like lime green fishnet leotards, or those ludicrous transparent 'stripper heels')

3) Shakey camera work / poor lighting

3) The (I believe crassly mistaken) assumption by most producers that punters only want to see birds aged between 18 and about 24 .... which brings me to:

4) Endless concrete-titted, tattooed and of-a-muchness Eastern European Barbie Dolls who look like they've come off some sort of production line.

5) Too many circus acts in the gonzo stuff (and too fucking MUCH gonzo stuff)

6) Tedious, seemingly never-ending genital penetration close-ups: You've seen one three-minute close-up of a dick pumping a pussy - you've seen 'em all (observation: I often edit scenes down into convenient wank-sized chunks for my own consumption, and find that a scene that clocks in at, say, 35 minutes can usually be reduced to less than half that time once you've cut out all the tedious close-ups, the mug-shots of the males, the inane introductory drivel of the cameraman/director etc.)

7) Too few **naturally** attractive / sexy females

8) Too many muscle-bound, mysogynistic, redneck males (in the US stuff)

9) Cameras focussing on the male performer's face (male performers in porn should be nothing more than life support systems for penises, and be seen only from the chest down whenever possible) - PORN IS (OR SHOULD BE) ABOUT THE WOMEN!!

10) Movies featuring women of about 30 being marketed as "mature" or "MILF" material

- Eric

[andy at handiwork]

10 out of 10. On form today, F_E.

[Flat_Eric]

julian5093 wrote:

>>


Another very good point has been raised here: Essentially, porn is a channel via which the punter is having an actual sexual encounter with the female performer - except that instead of physically dipping his own wick, he uses the male performer as a vicarious agent.

And I'd wager that looks-wise at least, the vast majority of the target audience is more Ron Jeremy, Roberto Malone or J.P. Armand than some V-shaped, muscle-bound, Maori-tattooed, 28 year-old "beefcake" on steroids and Viagra and packing oversized tackle.

Which is why porn with regular-looking guys like the aforementioned three is far easier to relate to - and thus for more "real" - for most viewers.

I'd even extend that to the female performers: Yes, stunning beauties with perfectly sculpted bodies are all very nice. But somehow, the "woman-from-down-the-road" types who look like they shouldn't really be doing porn are FAR more sexy, far easier to relate to, far more real.

Which is why (the sometimes shoddy camerawork and 'archive quality' of the footage notwithstanding), the old Color Climax and Swedish Erotica stuff from back in the day blows today's cold, mechanical, power-fucking jackhammer material completely out of the water in terms of eroticness.

As Julian says - directors take note.

- Eric

[Bob Singleton]

Flat_Eric wrote:

> My Top Ten gripes:


>
> 4) Endless concrete-titted, tattooed and of-a-muchness Eastern
> European Barbie Dolls who look like they've come off some sort
> of production line.
>

Really? I find that most east European women in porn I've seen are quite natural looking, and naturally beautiful... the Barbie Doll look-a-likes are more often than not Americans. Just look at Eurobabeindex and you'll see that the majority of girls listed there are natural.





> 10) Movies featuring women of about 30 being marketed as
> "mature" or "MILF" material
>


I've seen some "MILF" scenes where the female performer can't be more than about 24/25!!! OK technically they could be mothers, but I always thought a MILF was more along the lines of a 15/16 year old lad fancying his best friend's mum scenario... so a proper MILF is late 30s at youngest

[Lucifer Sam]

I always found the performers in the older films from the 80s and early 90s to have charisma and personality too which also engages the viewer. Vanessa Del Rio, Nina Hartley, Debi Diamond, Porsche Lynn, Amber Lynn, Tracey Adams, Christy Canyon, Angel Kelly, Desiree Cousteau, Aunt Peg, Bionca, Ariana etc etc etc. Real stars of the genre. I also love the european stars like Barbara Doll, Maeva, Julia Chanel, Simona Valli, Babeth, Tabatha Cash, - all great looking women! Even more recent ones like Monique Covet and Vivian Schmitt.

I do think theres a few Brit films made with those same values as well i.e- to entertain and arouse - like some of the Relish films and Cathy Barry's films.

Most modern porn in the USA follows the same formula and theres an endless line of the same films released - volumes 1 to 40 of the same concept. Just pointless and boring anal themed films or gagging. Its not Gonzo it should be Gormless.

[nobbygoat99]

Utterly spot on - 100%. Also spitting, which for some reason seems to be creeping into British scenes recently - there must be a market for this but please keep it out of the mainstream.

[Trumpton]

Tattoos !thumbsdown!

[mrchapel]

Piercings too, nothing says sexy like a chick with what looks like a snotter on her lip.

And as mentioned before teen chicks fucking geriatrics who look like mr fucking beans grandad