The Day I was on the Ruby Wax Show

[eroticartist]

I went over to Ruby Wax's office in Charlotte Street. I was told that Ruby was not in yet and given a coffee. At last Ruby arrived wearing shades at about eleven in the morning. Her staff fussed around her until she was ready to speak. She favoured me with a smile and started to tell me what she wanted me for.

"I want you to start off my new show" she said "Wax on wheels. We will meet you and the stars of your latest film by accident at a Forte cafe on the M1."

I was shooting Models at the time an 18 certificated film about models who had a second income from prostitution.

I appeared at Forte's on the M1 at the appointed time and was immediately ensconced in a suite of rooms with my stars where we could order anything we wanted billed to Ruby. I thought that I would be on soon and had a smoke of black. Soon I was high as a kite. The day wore on and we ordered champagne and whatever we fancied on the menu. I was getting fed up as I did not know what time I was on a kept smoking hash in a pipe to get ready for the show.

Suddenly a girl came t get me and a make-up girl was working on my face.
I entered a room where Ruby Wax greeted me and about twenty cameras where pointing my way. Ruby was funny an soon we were laughing and joking on camera. I knew that everything was going well as the camera crews were tittering on the soundtrack. I thought to myself "this is going to make great television and my film is going to be publicised. I should earn a fortune out of this.

I met Ruby after the shoot and she was all smiles and said that the shoot had gone well. I was to be billed as the "most eccentric man in the UK."
I have never been paid (except in Holland) for appearing on TV but we all got a brown paper envelope from Ruby with ?50 in it!
I gave Ruby a neck massage and came onto her strong but she rejected my advances.

I went round telling everyone that I was appearing on the Ruby Wax Show then one day I got a phone call from Ruby telling me that Lord Rocco Forte had served an injunction on Ruby and threatened to sue if she published the show with me in it. He was doing a favour for Thatcher.

Later Granada made a take over and his Trust House Forte empire was taken out and Rocco was left with one restaurant in Mayfair.

I wonder what happen to the tapes of that shoot and whether Ruby still has them.
Mike Freeman.

[spider]

Ruby Wax - she's nearly as funny as Dawn French.

[steve56]

Shes a loud mouthed yank,lol.

[steve56]

No seriously i saw her in the professionals .

[Ace]

I'm sure something similar happened with Travel Lodge being used in a porn shoot, they threatened to sue and the film was scrapped.

[Phil mCc]

I done her show she is well professional, Ron Jerremy humped her, she was on BBC2. I remember her asking why she could not say motherfiker at 11am... She paid me to not shag for 2 weeks. I lasted 4 hours as I was shooing a scene that day. Eventually I shot the complete diary in one day with different clothes etc. What a laugh. Lulu was on the same show, she had a breakdown when I said Hendrix must have banged her,,,,

Phil McC

[spider]

She?s married to Ed Bye who was a big noise comedy producer for the BBC.

I think that?s how she got her work.

I notice now she?s reduced to doing presenting work on some crappy circus reality show on Sky ? so I guess Ed doesn?t work for the BBC any more.

She normally crawls out the wood work for Comic Relief / Live Aid / Children in need. So I guess her ugly mug will be on our screens any day now in the run up to Red Nose Day.

She?s another of these millionaires who?s always up there, at the front of the queue, telling me that I don?t give enough to charity.

I can see why they call it comic relief now, because it?s a relief when it?s over.

[steve56]

Well i usually watch Casualty but last nights was terrible it was a comic relief special.spider wrote:

> She?s married to Ed Bye who was a big noise comedy producer for
> the BBC.
>
> I think that?s how she got her work.
>
> I notice now she?s reduced to doing presenting work on some
> crappy circus reality show on Sky ? so I guess Ed doesn?t work
> for the BBC any more.
>
> She normally crawls out the wood work for Comic Relief / Live
> Aid / Children in need. So I guess her ugly mug will be on our
> screens any day now in the run up to Red Nose Day.
>
> She?s another of these millionaires who?s always up there, at
> the front of the queue, telling me that I don?t give enough to
> charity.
>
> I can see why they call it comic relief now, because it?s a
> relief when it?s over.

[steve56]

Married 3 times.....