Breeding Ban...

[Jacques]

May as well extend it to Emo's too.

[Cactus Jack]

I didn't think puppets could breed anyway.

Sorry... thought you said Elmo's.

[Jacques]

*Opens Triade Box*

The Emo

An entire subculture of people (usually angsty teens) with a fake personality. The concept of Emo is actually a vicious cycle that never ends, to the utter failing of humanity, and it goes something like this:

1. Girls say they like "sensitive guys" (lie)

2. Guy finds out, so he listens to shit emo music and dresses like a twunt so girls will see that he is sensitive and not afraid to express himself (lie). He dyes his hair black, wraps himself in a stupid looking scarf, develops an eating disorder, and rants about how "nobody understands".

3. Now an emo guy, he meets Emo girl and they start dating, talking about how their well-off suburban lifestyles are terrible and depressing (lie)

4. Emo guy is just too much of a twunt. His cock is too small, he's too depressed to bathe, and has more mood swings than emo girl, and he doesn't even have a menstrual cycle. Emo girl dumps him, saying "It's not you, it's me." (lie) as she drives off with Wayne, the Argos sponsored Chav and leader of "The Eastside Massive".

5. Emo guy goes home and cries, proceeds to write an utterly shite song and strum a single string on his acoustic guitar. Another emo girl sees how he is so in touch with his feelings, and so the cycle continues.

This is the sad truth of the emo lifestyle/music, and now that I look at how pathetic it really is, maybe the emos DO have something to cry about!

girlfriend: C'mon, lets have sex.
boyfriend: I'm too sad to have sex.
girlfriend: I'm sad too; lets have sex and cry.
boyfriend: I'm already crying.

/box

[Cenobitez]

Its funny coz its true (well half true)

[MegaTon]

I agree, they are the scum of the planet!
No use too anyone


brerbear wrote:

> On chavs.
>
> There must be some way, some how.

[Jacques]

The obnoxious peasants are responsible for Trisha and Jeremy Kyle being on daytime TV - 100% of fact

They have very little comprehension of the Eniglish language thus avoiding any words they cannot spell or pronounce, even to the extent of creating new words only they know the meaning of. - 100% of fact

The Council House And Vagrants idea of a classy drink is White Lightning - 100% of fact

They all ride stolen BMX's - 100% of fact

They are all 4 ? feet high wear a baseball cap at ninety degrees in an imitation addidas tracksuit bought fron Poundland, with trouser legs tucked into socks and are definitely the height of fashion, obviously - 100% of fact

They hang outside McDonalds acting as if he is 8 foot tall and built like a rugby player, when some poor unsuspecting adult (about 17/18) walks round the corner wanting to go to mcdonalds for his dinner glances at the peasant, the said peasant jumps up in complete disgust and says ?Whats your problem? Wanna make sommin of it? Bling Bling? the adult gives him a slap, the peasant runs off shitting himself to either his pregnant 14-year-old girlfriend or his brother in the army crying his eyes out. - 100% of fact

Chavs are for the most part, extremely stupid. However, some of them render a form of low cunning, which can be misinterpreted as intelligence. However this is false. A Chav has no desire to better themself through honest means nor learn anything outside of car modification. - 100% of fact

All chavs think that they are nails. Again, this is false. Sitting in a beaten up nova smoking lamberts does not precipitate a healthy body. The irony being that a Chav owns mainly sportswear, yet will only break a sweat if running from the police. - 100% of fact

Chavs are incredibly fertile beasts, and are highly successful breeders. Where they come unstuck is having to look after the offspring which their 14 yr old drunken fumble produces. More often that not the child will crow to be a Chav, having received no more guidance on life than the parent. - 100% of fact

Chavs have a fond love for cars, as well as a Vin Diesel fixation. In fact they love him so much the want to bum him. - 100% of fact

Rather than buy a nice car to start with, a chav will spend all their dole and tax-free labouring cash on upgrading a 10 year old car with 200,000 miles on the clock. The end product will invariably be a luminous monstrosity with at least one serious collision to it's name. - 100% of fact

Chavs are part Magpie, evidentially supported by their love of all things shiny, or as vaccuous, illiterate street-slang would say 'Bling'. They can be seen twokking from the Jewelry counter in Argos/Index when not a Macky Dee's - 100% of fact

Chav girls (or chavettes) commonly sport the Croydon Facelift (hair pulled back in a bun so tight that it pulls their faces tight) with at least 6 dangly faux-gold earings in each ear. Also often seen pushing a pram round shopping centers while chain-smoking and wearing fake burberry or nasty velour tracksuits. A favourite accessory is a hideous gold articulated clown dangling from a thick gold chain around their pimply acne scarred necks. - 100% of fact

These obnoxious peasants are actually a human sub-species known as homo-inferior. They plan to conquer the world by lowering the nations IQ to single didgit numbers, like themselves. - 100% of fact

Mobile phones are an added status symbol, and when equipped, the chav must shout into it in the most anti-social way possible, using at least one expletive and the word "innit" per second. 100% of fact


In the words of Marlon Brando in Apocalypes Now "The Horror, The Horror"

[Jayr]

Jacques sounds like you need to buy this T-shirt:

Mine's already on order!

[mart]

People in glass houses.
Before throwing stones it might be an idea to use Spellcheck.

Mart