Any Advice please

[Lizard]

Tomorrow, I am going to the dentist for a s and p, not a problem for me, however, tonight I forgot I was going and have been for a Chicken Madras, my breath smell,s I know it does, as my cat has passed out, also without going into too much detail, I have very bad wind, and smell like a coach drivers gussett, my dentist is female, and I am in love with her, even though she causes me pain, and has a gammy eye, anyway has anyone got any tips on how to clean myself up before 8.15 am, I think I may have just followed thru as well, must have been the 12 bottles of tiger beer that caused that, my flatulance is at an all time high, and the signs are not good, I,m so fed up Iv,e had a bottle of port, to cheer myself up, and am now eating cheese as I type this.
Any advice would be appreciated, and completely fucking ignored, Magoo,s out on licence, lock up your fridges/daughters and outside toilets, as he has been consipated for 2 weeks, and the blow back could kill.....

[Pervert]

The best thing to do is accidentally drive your elbow into her nose on arrival, shattering a couple of bones. Voila---her olefactory senses will be nullified, and you can fart as much as you want without causing offence.

Of course, she might then decide to take a drill to your healthy teeth . . .

[Lizard]

Thanks as always for the advice chaps, your the best bunch of cunts a friend could have, and I love you all, I have just let one go, and have exposed a RSJ holding the cieling up, and all the lights have gone off.
I,m off to wrap myself in cling film, so I dont mess the burberry duvet up...

[magicpants]

Hey dude,

How did the dentist go??

Did ya pull???