Jehovah's witnesses

[Pervert]

Being a Mormon is a dirty job---but someone has to do it.

I have to say, I always found it quite insulting that they sent their missionaries over to us, wandering council estates with their bright and shiny haircuts, FBI-lookalike clothing and Osmond-style dentistry, and knocking on our doors as if they were trying to redeem the damned.

[Lizard]

Mike Sweeny! fuck me, he used to be on Piccadilly Radio, (Manchester) playing old Elvis tracks, and bands from the 60,s that no one wanted to listen to, he used to do a lot for charity, (cant remember her second name) anyway, there was him and that Mallet twat, the one with ten sets of eyes, and bad halitosis, he would swan into local pubs saying look at me I,m mike sweeny, everyone would yawn and ignore the fucka! I think he was a mormon.....

[steve56]

thats right piccadilly radio,hes back up manchester now,played in the mindbenders,stackwaddy.

[steve56]

its all a lot of hogwash,give me sex/rock/n/roll anyday.

[Flett and Katie]

In total agreement, Giles.
I think I've found the way to stop them coming around - we've not had visit from them for over three years.
One Saturday morning two late 20's/early 30's females stood on the doorstep with a child of about four. The child thrust a bunch of pamphlets in my hand, and a discussion ensued, leading to me inviting the three of them in for a comfortable chat.
After going through their question and answer bit (which took about an hour) I said that a few things were confusing me, and I would like help sorting them out. They said fine, thinking that they had a convert.
I got them to confirm that a limited number of people would enter the earthly Kingdom of Heaven (I think the figure is 400,000 people) and that everything in Heaven would be stress free, no violence, happiness and joy everywhere. They confirmed that to be true.
I them got them to confirm that they had said that it would be so peaceful that those who entered Heaven would be able to commune with the animals, because nobody would be killing anything.
My question to them was this - if those who entered Heaven were not eating meat, they would be living on fruit and vegetables (which they confirmed) the result of which would be that with such a high fibre diet, there would be a serious problem with sewage, so somebody would have to be in charge of that aspect of heaven. Thus, for those people who had to work with sewage Heaven would not really be such a great place. What would they be doing about the sewage problem?
Their response was they were only prepared to have serious discussions, and since then, there has been no sign of them.

Flett

[Arnold Layne]

Nice one, thanksm I've got a sensible way of getting rid of em, no doubt they'll be back after thrusting a couple of watchtowers on me

[Mr Moonlight]

Can't be arsed to read through all the replies to this message BUT if anyone was in the Twickenham area over the weekend, there were tons of the buggers around.

Thing is, around 80% (yep) of the ladies I saw were dressed like they were off for a night in Kings Cross !! Talk about prime video fodder !!

Nice bods, shame about the contents between their ears !!

[alec]

Jehovah's Witnesses - go to the door holding a copy of Charles Darwin's Origin of Species or Descent of Man.

Mormons - go to the door holding a copy of Mark Twain's Roughing It, where he accuses them of dressing up as Red Indians and attacking a wagon train.

It will certainly annoy them, even if it doesn't get rid of them.