30 things porn has taught us ! this is so so funny

[fayerampton]

30 things porn has taught us

1. Women wear high heels to bed.
2. Men are never impotent.
3. When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.
4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.
5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm.
6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men.
7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob.
8. Women always orgasm when men do.
9. A blowjob will always get a women off a speeding ticket.
10. All women are noisy ****s.
11. People in the 70's couldn't **** unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background.
12. Those tits are real.
13. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt.
14. Men always groan "OH YEAH!" when they cum.
15. If there is two of them they "high five" each other.(and the girl isn't disgusted!)
16. Double penetration makes women smile.
17. Asian men don't exist.
18. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes,the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of shit out of you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth.
19. There's a plot.
20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a woman by giving her a gentle slap on the butt.
21. Nurses suck patients cocks.
22. Men always pull out.
23. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before ****ing the both of you.
24. Women never have headaches... or periods.
25. When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to remind her to "suck it".
26. Assholes are clean.
27. A man ejaculating on a womans butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned.
28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trousers and find a cock there.
29. Men don't have to beg.
30. When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip.

[fayerampton]

this had me in hysterics !!! its all so very true !!!!!

[Pervert]

Class!

Nice one, Faye.

[rednose]

And there is aways a girl sucking another girl's strapon, what is the point! Looks good but why?

Rednose

[joe king]

It's good enough to steal...

[steve56]

is 21 really true?lol.fayerampton wrote:

> 30 things porn has taught us
>
> 1. Women wear high heels to bed.
> 2. Men are never impotent.
> 3. When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than
> satisfactory.
> 4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she
> will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have
> sex with her.
> 5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face
> with sperm.
> 6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men.
> 7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob.
> 8. Women always orgasm when men do.
> 9. A blowjob will always get a women off a speeding ticket.
> 10. All women are noisy ****s.
> 11. People in the 70's couldn't **** unless there was a wild
> guitar solo in the background.
> 12. Those tits are real.
> 13. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take
> his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt.
> 14. Men always groan "OH YEAH!" when they cum.
> 15. If there is two of them they "high five" each other.(and
> the girl isn't disgusted!)
> 16. Double penetration makes women smile.
> 17. Asian men don't exist.
> 18. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in
> the bushes,the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of shit out of
> you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth.
> 19. There's a plot.
> 20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a
> woman by giving her a gentle slap on the butt.
> 21. Nurses suck patients cocks.
> 22. Men always pull out.
> 23. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best
> friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before ****ing
> the both of you.
> 24. Women never have headaches... or periods.
> 25. When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for
> him to remind her to "suck it".
> 26. Assholes are clean.
> 27. A man ejaculating on a womans butt is a satisfying result
> for all parties concerned.
> 28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a
> man's trousers and find a cock there.
> 29. Men don't have to beg.
> 30. When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place one
> hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the
> other proudly on his hip.

[eroticartist]

Hiy Faye,
When you performed for me in Swingers Club you had a script and you knew your lines: I comfirm that I do fuck women with their high heels on!Also love to play many of the of the other sexual games on your list.

A film is a fantasie and not the kitchen sink but porn is very educative and much of your list is now widely practised.

What we need Faye is more female filmmakers who no longer see the genre porn as out of bounds. It is even legal now!

I wonder if you could make a WAV file? I need a voice-over!cool!
for Swingers Club.

Mike

[videokim]

Hi Faye

Thats brilliant, it had to be a woman who wrote because its so true, a lot of guys will still be working it out an hour later & thinking 'and'.

Kim xxx

[joe king]

Note that this seems to have a creation date o 12-Jun-2001 09:37



~~~~~joe king~~~~~







!shocked!!bow!!shocked!

[planeterotica]

Nice one Faye, all true of course and it must have been writen by a female, and yes and of course women love to be fucked by ugly middle aged men!love!